Process Diagram

Band 6+: The diagram below shows the process by which wire is made.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the process by which wire is made.

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The image depicts a sequential process flow chart starting with coking coal and iron ore, followed by step 2 using a blast furnace at 1,300°C. Step 3 involves combining with a reduced coal into an arc furnace at 1,800°C, while step 4 involves combining with a furnace at 1,800°C using lime. Step 5 directs outputs into a vat, followed by step 6 using moulds, then step 7 entails pressing and shaping. Step 8 illustrates liquid metal flowing through pipes to a blast furnace at 150°C, leading to step 9 for cooling, concluding with step 9 producing wire.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram provides information about the steps that need to be taken to generate wire.

In general, the production of wire is a linear man-made process, consisting of 9 steps, starting with coking coal with iron ore, ending with cooling the wire.

In the first main stage, coal and iron ore are coked, which are then heated to 1,300 degrees Celsius into a blast furnace. Subsequently, the coked coal is eliminated while coked iron is moved to an arc furnace heating at 1,800 degrees Celsius and combining to convert into lime. In the next stage, the lime is transported to a distinct furnace before being operated at 1,800 and combined.

Moving to the next phase of the entire process, the heated lime is stored in a vat before being moulded into a certain form. Next, the moulded lime is pressed and formed, after that moved into a blast furnace operating at 150 degrees Celsius. Finally, liquid metal pines are cooled before being finished with wire product.

Word Count: 166

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

furnace: 4

coked: 3

degrees: 3

celsius: 3

before: 3

being: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the process of wire production, presenting the information in a generally clear and organized manner. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions in the description of the process. To improve, ensure all stages are accurately represented and that the relationships between them are clearly articulated. Also, avoid using the word 'lime' to describe the material throughout the process, as it is only introduced at a specific stage.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the information in a generally logical order, following the stages of the process. However, the transitions between some stages could be smoother, and the paragraphing could be improved to better reflect the different phases of the process. The use of cohesive devices is adequate but could be more varied to enhance the flow of the report.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, but there are instances where the word choice could be more precise. For example, using 'reduced coal' instead of 'coked coal' and 'liquid metal pines' instead of 'liquid metal pipes'. Expanding the range of vocabulary and ensuring accuracy would improve the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'coal and iron ore are coked' is not entirely accurate, and 'heated lime is stored in a vat before being moulded into a certain form' could be phrased more clearly. Correcting these errors and improving sentence structure would enhance the grammatical accuracy.

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