Process Diagram

Band 6+: The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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The image presents a sequential diagram illustrating the aluminium can recycling process, comprising of nine main steps, beginning with waste accumulation and deposit management, followed by water treatment, crushing application, material processing, chemical removal, progressing to heating phase, then moulding, subsequent weighing stage, rolling procedure, culminating in the production of new cans, completed over a six-week cycle.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given diagram demonstrates the process of recycling the aluminium cans once they are used. This process takes around 6 weeks. It starts by throwing the cans.

Firstly, once the people mark these cans as waste, they are collected and deposited in a factory for a period. Secondly, they are cleaned by water and crushed to make them solid. When the solid is ready, the factory workers begin their work. They start by erasing the crushed aluminium with chemicals, so there will not be any bacteria left. After that, the cleaned solid is heated under carefully controlled temperatures. Then, it is placed in a mould to reshape into the cans again. Following this step, the employees make sure that every mould can is weighted equally. Later, the cans are labeled according to their future specific usages. Lastly, it is reproduced as new cans in the markets.

The whole process takes around 1.5 months, but since we can decrease the amount of non-renewable resources we use daily, it is worth taking longer.

Word Count: 171

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

process: 3

solid: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the main steps in the aluminium can recycling process. The description is generally clear and follows the sequence of the diagram. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the report mentions the cans are labeled according to their future specific usages, which is not explicitly shown in the diagram. Also, the report states the process takes around 1.5 months, while the diagram indicates it takes around 6 weeks. To improve, ensure all details are directly supported by the diagram and avoid adding information that is not visually represented. Also, focus on more precise data reporting.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a generally clear overview of the aluminium can recycling process. However, the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider using more cohesive devices to link the stages of the process more explicitly. For example, transitions like 'Following this,' 'Subsequently,' or 'In the next stage' could enhance the reader's understanding of the sequence. Paragraphing is adequate, but ensuring each paragraph covers a distinct phase of the process could further improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for describing the process. However, there's room to enhance the lexical range by incorporating more specific and technical terms related to recycling and manufacturing. For instance, instead of 'cleaned by water,' you could use 'washed' or 'treated with water.' Similarly, 'erasing the crushed aluminium with chemicals' could be refined to 'chemically treated to remove impurities.' Expanding the vocabulary in this way would demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. For example, 'once the people mark these cans as waste' is awkward and could be rephrased as 'once the cans are discarded as waste.' Also, 'weighted equally' should be 'weighed equally.' Addressing these grammatical inaccuracies and refining sentence structures would improve the overall accuracy and readability of the report.

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