Pie Chart

Band 6+: The diagram below shows the results of a questionnaire showing how many times teenagers in Australia use an iPod in a week to play videos in 2009.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the results of a questionnaire showing how many times teenagers in Australia use an iPod in a week to play videos in 2009.

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The image shows a pie chart where "Did not" is 51%, "Once" is 14%, "Twice" is 15%, "3-5 times" is 9%, "6-10 times" is 5%, and "11+ times" is 6%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart illustrates the results of questionnaire showing how many times teenagers in Australia use an iPod in a week to play videos in 2009.

Overall it can be seen that teenagers did not use an iPod accounted for the biggest percentage, while teenagers use an iPod 11+ times accounted for the smallest percentage.

It is clear that teenagers did not use an iPod recorded the higest percentage at 51% by 2009, followed by teenagers use an iPod twice at 15% and once at 14% at the same time.

And then, teenagers use an iPod 3-5 times in a week at 9%, followed by teenagers us an iPod 11 times and above in a week at 6% and teenagers use an iPod in a week 6-10 times at 5% and become the lowest percentage in 2009.

Word Count: 137

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

teenagers: 8

times: 5

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie chart and provides a generally clear overview of the data. However, the language could be more precise and varied, and the structure could be improved for better flow. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary and sentence structures to describe the data, and ensure that the comparison and contrast between different categories are clearly articulated. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. The information is presented in a somewhat disjointed manner. Consider grouping similar data points together and using more varied transition words to improve the flow. For example, you could group the lower usage categories together to highlight the contrast with the 'Did not use' category.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but could be more precise and varied. Using synonyms for 'percentage' and rephrasing some sentences would enhance the lexical resource. For instance, instead of repeatedly stating 'teenagers use an iPod,' try variations like 'iPod usage among teenagers' or 'the frequency of iPod use.' Also, avoid informal language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and article usage. For example, 'teenagers did not use an iPod accounted' should be revised for grammatical accuracy. Proofreading carefully for these errors will improve the overall quality of your writing.

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