Process Diagram

Band 5+: The diagram below shows the stages in recycling of aluminum drinks can.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the stages in recycling of aluminum drinks can.

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The image illustrates the recycling process of aluminum drink cans through a series of integrated steps. Initially, at the collection center, cans are deposited in recycling bins. Following collection, they are transported by truck to a recycling center. Here, cans are compressed into large blocks before being taken to an aluminum recycling plant. At this stage, old aluminum is melted down and processed into new aluminum, which is then formed into aluminum rolls. These rolls are finally used to create new cans, which are distributed to drinks machines, completing the cycle.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The process diagram explains the way of aluminum recycling drins can.

Overall, there are eight stages in process, beginning with the collection centre , where collected used aluminum drinks can and finishing with the drinks machine.

To begin, used aluminum drinks can collected in collection centre and will be sorted into two boxes, one of which is recyclable and the other is non-recyclable. This two different boxes then delivered to the recycling centre by a garbage car. In this recycling centre made an alumium plant with aluminum cans. Next, it melts aluminum cans, and from that melted aluminum, more aluminum is produced, separated into new square pieces. In the subsequent stage, each bricks rolled and produced aluminum roll. These rolls are cut into cans shapes and new aluminum cans are created.

Finally, these new aluminum cans delivered to the drinks machine and people can use it. This process repeated every time. This is the way how to recycle aluminum drinks cans.

Word Count: 161

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

aluminum: 11

drinks: 5

centre: 4

process: 3

recycling: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main stages of the process, but there are several issues with accuracy and clarity. The report introduces information not present in the visual description (such as the sorting into recyclable and non-recyclable boxes), which can detract from the task achievement. Additionally, some descriptions of the transformation stages (e.g., 'new square pieces' and 'each bricks rolled') are somewhat confusing and do not clearly reflect the logical flow of the process. To improve, focus on using more precise sequencing language and ensure that the description of the physical transformations (melting, rolling, forming) is clear and follows the provided information closely.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical sequence, but the progression is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. While you use some cohesive devices (e.g., 'To begin', 'Next', 'In the subsequent stage', 'Finally'), the transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next. Avoid repetitive sentence structures and ensure that the relationship between stages is clearly articulated through better use of subordinating conjunctions.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic meaning, but it is quite limited and contains several spelling and word-choice errors (e.g., 'drins', 'alumium', 'cans shapes'). There is a tendency to repeat certain words frequently. To reach a higher band, aim to use a wider range of synonyms and more precise technical vocabulary related to processes (e.g., instead of 'made an alumium plant', use 'processed at an aluminum plant'; instead of 'cut into cans shapes', use 'formed into the shape of cans').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes impede the reader's understanding. There are significant issues with passive voice construction, which is essential for process descriptions (e.g., 'cans collected' should be 'cans are collected', and 'cans delivered' should be 'cans are delivered'). There are also errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage. I recommend practicing the passive voice extensively, as it is the standard grammatical structure for describing industrial or natural processes. Additionally, pay close attention to sentence structure to avoid fragments and run-on sentences.

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