Process Diagram

Band 5+: The diagram shows a process of making a storage area from a material called concrete canvas. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below

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Image for topic: The diagram shows a process of making a storage area from a material called concrete canvas. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below

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The image contains a process overview comprising eight stages: Manufacturing begins with a 3-layered material (fibrous top surface, dry concrete, waterproof layer); Delivery via truck; Unwrapping involves unpacking; Spreading on the ground includes positioning with pegs and a 10-meter rope setup; Pumping air using an air pump through a valve; Watering follows with a spray; Setting takes 20-24 hours; Storing involves a ready-made concrete canvas shelter with a door.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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the given diagram demonstrates a process of manufacturing a place for storaging purpose using concrete canvas as a source of material.

Overall, there are totally 8 steps to conduct this producing period. Beginning from manufacturing concrete canvas and ending with storing.

First at all, from the initial, the concrete canvas is produced by 3 different things called fibrous top surface, dry concrete and waterproof layer. Then after manufacturing, they move to the next step is delivering before unwrapping in the third step. The next part is spreading on the ground, we can clearly see that there is a square with the length 10 metres, and four pegs in each corners as well as a rope in the middle top.

Moving to the remaing steps in the process, pumping air is the next step we refer, requires a door in order to lead the air pump. Watering is essensial after that, we can also observe the 8 metres door on the image. Then setting takes approximately one day. Finally, storing function can be used in the end of process.

Word Count: 178

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

concrete: 4

process: 3

manufacturing: 3

canvas: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, describing the process of making a storage area from concrete canvas. There is a generally clear progression through the stages. However, there are some minor omissions and inaccuracies in the description. For example, the report mentions a door being required for pumping air, which is not entirely accurate. To improve, ensure all key stages are accurately described and that the relationships between stages are clearly articulated. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report generally presents the information in a logical sequence, following the stages of the process. However, the transitions between steps could be smoother and more cohesive. The use of discourse markers is somewhat limited, and some sentences feel disconnected. For example, the transition between unwrapping and spreading could be improved. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the flow of the report. Paragraphing is adequate but could be enhanced by grouping related steps more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for describing the process, but there is room for improvement in terms of precision and sophistication. Some phrases are a bit awkward or imprecise (e.g., "storaging purpose," "3 different things"). Using more specific and varied vocabulary would enhance the report. For instance, instead of "move to the next step," you could use "proceed to the next stage." Also, consider using synonyms to avoid repetition of words like "step."

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Some examples include incorrect article usage ("a place for storaging purpose"), incorrect verb forms ("the next step is delivering"), and awkward phrasing ("First at all," "in each corners"). There are also issues with sentence structure and punctuation. While the overall meaning is understandable, these errors detract from the report's credibility. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence construction to enhance the clarity and impact of your writing. Proofreading carefully is essential.

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