Process Diagram

Band 8+: The diagram shows the process of how to make smoked fish

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The image illustrates the process of making smoked fish: Capture fish; transport to port; freeze; thaw in fresh water; cut open; soak in mixture of saltwater and yellow coloring; smoke; freeze; transfer to cold store; distribute; and sell in fish shop.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram illustrates the process by which salted fish is produced. Overall, the process consists of several stages, beginning with catching fish in the sea and ending with their distribution to fish shops for sale. The process involves several stages of preparation and preservation, including freezing, cutting, salting, smoking, and freezing the fish again before they are stored.

At the beginning of the process, fish are caught and transported by boat to a port. They are then frozen and subsequently thawed before being cut open. After this, the fish are placed in salt water containing yellow color. Finally, the fish are smoked in a metal container.

In the final stages, the cooked fish are frozen again at zero degree and then stored in a cold store for a while. Ultimately, they are distributed to fish shops where they are ready for sale.

Word Count: 142

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

process: 4

stages: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively covers the main stages of the process, from catching fish to selling them, and provides a clear overall summary. The description is generally accurate and well-organized, with appropriate use of sequencing language. Minor omissions, such as not explicitly mentioning the thawing in fresh water and the exact purpose of the yellow coloring, are acceptable and do not detract from the overall task achievement. To improve, ensure all key details from the diagram are included and consider using more precise vocabulary for the smoking and freezing stages. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-organized with a clear overall structure, including an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that logically group the stages. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'At the beginning', 'After this', 'Finally', and 'In the final stages' helps the reader follow the sequence effortlessly. However, there is a minor lapse in cohesion: the overview mentions 'freezing, cutting, salting, smoking, and freezing the fish again' but the body paragraphs do not explicitly use the term 'salting' (they say 'placed in salt water'), which could be slightly confusing. Overall, the message is easy to follow, and paragraphing is managed well.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, with words like 'illustrates', 'consists of', 'preservation', 'subsequently', 'thawed', 'distributed', and 'ultimately'. The phrasing is generally natural and accurate. However, there is some repetition of 'frozen' and 'freezing' which could be varied with synonyms like 'chilled' or 'stored at low temperatures'. Also, 'salted fish' in the introduction is slightly inaccurate as the process is about smoked fish, but this is a minor lexical choice. Overall, the vocabulary is used effectively and shows a good level of control.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a variety of sentence structures, including passive voice ('are caught', 'are then frozen', 'are placed'), which is appropriate for describing a process. The grammar is largely accurate, with correct use of tenses and punctuation. There are a few minor issues: 'at zero degree' should be 'at zero degrees' or 'at 0°C', and 'the cooked fish' is slightly awkward as the fish are smoked, not cooked. These are minor and do not impede understanding. Overall, the grammatical range is good, and the report is accurate and clear.

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