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Band 5+: The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

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Image for topic: The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

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The image shows three diagrams from 1950, 1980, and 2010. In 1950: Houses, school, farmland, and playground are present. In 1980: Main road, car park, science block, school (main building), sports field, and playground. In 2010: Main road, car park, science block, school (main building), sports field, and playground.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given layouts provide the informations about west park secondary school, changes many features which have taken many place for its building in the period of 1950 to 2010.

Overall, it can be seen that there are neumares changes in this park including car park was extended and the sports fields smaller than before. However, playground and school were unchanged in the last two period.

To begin with, in 1950, houses were located in the west side of the maps, whereas it demolished and build a car park and science block in the same corner, in 1980 years. Morever, school was constructed in the first map, but it was modernized and creating main building in the roadside. The sports fields and playground were unchanged in both map.

Additionally, in the year of 2010, car park was extended, which take more places in the west, and sports field was more smaller in the centre side. Following this, school building, science block and playground were remain unchanged during this period.

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

school: 4

building: 3

sports: 3

playground: 3

unchanged: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are noticeable areas for improvement. The organization is present but could be more cohesive. The description of changes is somewhat general and lacks specific details. To improve, focus on providing more precise descriptions of the changes, using specific locations and comparative language. Also, ensure accurate reporting of the visual information; for example, the playground did not remain unchanged.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some attempt at organization, but the paragraphing and flow of ideas are not always logical. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to improve coherence. For example, the connection between the second and third paragraphs is weak. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and occasionally inaccurate ('neumares changes'). There's a reliance on simple words and phrases. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to describing changes in maps and diagrams. Focus on using more precise and descriptive language. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing ('changes many features which have taken many place'). Sentence structures are often simple and repetitive. To enhance grammatical accuracy, carefully review basic grammar rules and practice constructing more complex sentences. Pay attention to using correct prepositions and articles.

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