Process Diagram

Band 5+: The diagrams below show the development of the horse over a period of 40 million years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The diagrams below show the development of the horse over a period of 40 million years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains diagrams showing the development of the horse over 40 million years, illustrated in four stages: Eohippus, from 40 million years ago, is depicted with a foot structure showing multiple digits; Mesohippus, from 30 million years ago, is shown with a three-toed foot; Merychippus, from 15 million years ago, is illustrated with a foot that has a more prominent central toe; and the modern Horse is shown with a single-hoofed foot.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The data illustrate the evolution of the horse for 40 million years time period.

Overall, the evolution consist of 4 different time periods, from 40 millions years ago to modern time. The biggest change can be noticed is horse’s hooves. Another big differens that can be seen is the size of the horse. Modern horse is larger than an ancient one.

The first picture shows Eohippus that existed 40 million years ago. This animal is small and skinny. Moreover Eohippus do not have a much mane on it’s head or tail. The paws have 4 long fingers. Next illustration displays Mesohippus that appears after 10 millions years. This horse is taller than Eohippus, have more hair and it’s fingers become shorter and lose one of them.

Then 15 millon years ago there was Merychippus. Merychippus is looks more like average horse, but still smaller than it. However paws start to became a hooves by getting shorter and harder. And finally the modern horse. This horse is big, have a long mane and fully formed hoof.

Word Count: 175

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

horse: 7

years: 5

modern: 3

eohippus: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the horse's evolution, focusing on changes in size and hooves. The description of each stage is generally clear. To improve, consider adding more specific details about the changes in foot structure (e.g., the central toe becoming more prominent in Merychippus) and ensuring consistent tense usage. Also, enhance the overall structure by grouping information more thematically rather than chronologically, which would allow for more effective comparisons.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a clear overview of the horse's evolution, but the organization could be improved. Consider using more explicit transitions between the descriptions of each stage to enhance the flow. For example, phrases like 'Following this' or 'Subsequently' could be used. Additionally, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the evolution to improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate for describing the changes in the horse's evolution. However, there's room to enhance the precision and sophistication of word choices. For instance, instead of 'big change,' consider using 'significant transformation' or 'notable alteration.' Also, explore synonyms for words like 'looks' and 'have' to add variety and depth to your descriptions. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'evolution consist' should be 'evolution consists'), correct tense usage, and article usage (e.g., 'the evolution consist of 4 different time periods'). Proofreading carefully for these errors will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing. Also, vary your sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.

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