Multiple Graphs

Band 6+: The first chart below shows information about the consumers of water in Australia in 2004. The second chart gives details of essential water use in Australia in the same year

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Image for topic: The first chart below shows information about the consumers of water in Australia in 2004. The second chart gives details of essential water use in Australia in the same year

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The image displays two charts about water usage in Australia for the year 2004. The first, a pie chart titled 'Water consumption in Australia, 2004', allocates consumption as follows: Residential 70% (further divided into Apartments 17% and Houses 53%), Industrial 11%, Business 10%, Government 6%, and Other 3%. The second, a bar chart titled 'Residential water use in Australia, 2004', details the breakdown of residential use: Garden 28%, Bathroom 27%, Washing clothes 20%, Toilet 15%, and Kitchen 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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These illustrated graphs provide information about water usage in Australia in 2004.

Overall, the first pie chart shows percentages of reasons for water usage. It is clear that residential water consumption accounted for the largest proportion. And the second graph shows only residential ways of consumption and we can see that the garden and bathroom had the highest figures.

In the pie chart we have information that residential ways accounted for 70% of the whole chart. Moreover, business and industrial took a tenth of each other in this chart. Also government have 6 percent and other reasons took only 3 percent

In the second graph, we see that the garden and bathroom had a little more than a fourth of 100percent. Together, these two categories made up more than half of the overall figure. The smallest proportion was recorded by kitchen, at only 10%

Word Count: 144

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

chart: 4

water: 3

residential: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task and provides a clear overview of the main trends in both charts. The data is presented accurately according to the visual description. To improve, the writer should aim for more sophisticated sentence structures and avoid repetitive phrasing (e.g., 'residential ways'). Additionally, incorporating more comparisons between the data points rather than just listing them would enhance the analytical quality of the report. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs corresponding to the two charts. However, the cohesion could be improved by using more sophisticated linking words. Some sentences start with 'And' or 'Also', which is somewhat informal for an academic report. Try to use more varied cohesive devices such as 'In terms of...', 'Regarding...', or 'With respect to...' to transition between ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for describing the data, but it lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. Phrases like 'residential ways' or 'took a tenth of each other' are somewhat awkward and imprecise. Instead of 'ways of consumption', consider using 'sectors', 'categories', or 'purposes'. Instead of 'took a tenth of each other', you could say 'each accounted for approximately 10%'. Aim to use more precise academic synonyms for 'show' and 'have'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a mix of simple and complex structures, but there are several grammatical inconsistencies. For example, 'government have' should be 'the government had' (subject-verb agreement and tense consistency). There are also issues with sentence fragments and punctuation. To improve, ensure that all sentences are complete and that you maintain a consistent past tense throughout the report, as the data refers to the year 2004.

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