Bar Chart

Band 5+: The following bar graph compares the age profiles of male and female cinema goers in the year 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The following bar graph compares the age profiles of male and female cinema goers in the year 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image depicts a bar graph showing average number of visits per year (%) for women and men across various age groups: 14-17 years - Women 7%, Men 7%; 18-24 years - Women 15%, Men 16%; 25-34 years - Women 20%, Men 23%; 35-49 years - Women 25%, Men 25%; 50+ years - Women 33%, Men 29%.

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The bar graphs shows the age profile of male and female cinema goers in the year 2012.

The lowest no .of women and men visitors per year with the 7 percentage of 14- 17 years, meanwhile the little higher percentage of women with 15% of 18-24 years where the men has 16% of same age as women . The percentage of women visitor of 25- 34 age with the20% , meanwhile the men visitors of same age as women visitors with the 23%, the visitors with the same percentage of men and women age 35- 49 with the 25% , meanwhile 50+ years of women visitor with the33% which is the highest percentage among all of them and the men as same age of women with the 29 % .

So the lowest number of visitors from both male and female with the 7 % , meanwhile the highest number of visitors from women 50+ ages with the 33% and male with the 29 %.

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

women: 9

visitors: 6

percentage: 5

meanwhile: 4

years: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some main features but lacks overall synthesis and comparison. There is some inaccuracy in the data reported. To improve, focus on grouping age categories and highlighting overall trends rather than listing individual data points. Also, ensure accurate data reporting.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and transitions between ideas. The writing feels somewhat disjointed, making it difficult to follow the main points and comparisons effectively. Consider using more cohesive devices and structuring the report into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and lacks precision. There is repetition of phrases like 'meanwhile' and 'percentage of women/men.' To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to data description and comparison, such as 'proportion,' 'constitute,' 'outnumber,' 'exceed,' etc. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect article usage ('the lowest no .of women'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Sentence structure is also quite simple and repetitive. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy by reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Vary sentence structures to enhance readability.

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