Pie Chart

Band 6+: The given pie charts compare the proportions of preferred leisure activities in 2009 and 2019.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The given pie charts compare the proportions of preferred leisure activities in 2009 and 2019.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image depicts pie charts showing leisure activity preferences in 2009 and 2019. In 2009: mobile phone 15%, laptop 20%, tablet 5%, desktop computer 8%, flat-screen TV 18%, conventional TV 34%. In 2019: mobile phone 27%, laptop 12%, tablet 19%, desktop computer 4%, flat-screen TV 23%, conventional TV 15%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The following paragraphs aims to summarize the information from the pie charts comparing the preferred leisure activities in 2009 and 2019. It will also report certain behaviors and trends where applicable:

The most preferred leisure activity in 2009, watching conventional television, was largely replaced by flat-screen televisions in 2019. The 2 least preferred leisure activity in 2009 were mobile phones and tablets, which I assume were expensive at the time. In 2019, the least preferred activity is to watch conventional tv.

As technology has advanced, a significant portion, 14% and 11% exactly, increased the use of tablets and mobile phones respectively. This phenomenon shows the shift of increased use of electronic gadgets.

There is still a significant use in desktop computers and laptops in both 2009 and 2019 because they are still very relevant in both decades.

All in all, the use of electronic gadgets is getting more popular and older technologies like conventional television are slowly phasing out of use.

Word Count: 161

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

preferred: 4

leisure: 3

activity: 3

conventional: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and makes relevant comparisons between 2009 and 2019. However, there are some omissions and a tendency to include personal assumptions (e.g., about the cost of mobile phones and tablets). To improve, focus on presenting the data objectively and ensure all significant trends and figures are mentioned.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview of the data, but the organization could be improved for better flow. The paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, making it harder to follow the main points. Consider structuring the report with a clearer focus in each paragraph, such as dedicating one paragraph to the most significant changes and another to the least significant. Transition words could also be used more effectively to link ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'leisure activity,' you could incorporate synonyms or more specific terms related to entertainment or media consumption. Also, avoid informal language such as 'All in all'. Try to use more formal language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, the sentence 'The 2 least preferred leisure activity in 2009 were mobile phones and tablets' has subject-verb agreement issues. Also, the phrase 'increased the use of tablets and mobile phones respectively' is awkward. Proofread carefully to identify and correct these errors. Focus on using a wider range of sentence structures to enhance the complexity and sophistication of your writing.

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