Bar Chart

Band 4+: The graph below gives information about the number of people who smoked cigarettes in the UK between 2011 and 2021. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The graph below gives information about the number of people who smoked cigarettes in the UK between 2011 and 2021. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image consists of a bar chart titled "Cigarette smokers in the UK" with the y-axis labeled "millions of people" ranging from 0 to 4.5 in increments of 0.5, and the x-axis displaying years 2011 through 2021. Two bars represent each year, one for men, one for women. In 2011, men: 4 million, women: 3.5 million; 2012, men: 3.5 million, women: 3 million; 2013, men: 3 million, women: 2.75 million; 2014, men: 3 million, women: 2.5 million; 2015, men: 2.75 million, women: 2.5 million; 2016, men: 2.5 million, women: 2.25 million; 2017, men: 2.75 million, women: 2.25 million; 2018, men: 2.5 million, women: 2.25 million; 2019, men: 2.5 million, women: 2 million; 2020, men: 1.5 million, women: 1.75 million; 2021, men: 1 million, women: 1.25 million.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart below provides information about the amount of people who smoked cigarettes in England, Wales, Scotland, Northen Ierland between 11 periods 2011 and 2021 in millions of cetizen between male and female

Overall, the highest number of smoked cigarettes man was in 2011 and in constant the biggest amount of women was in same year, in 2021 was the lowest number of smoked cigarettes

In 2011 was the largest amount of smoked cigarettes with nearly to fitfh of 10 million, over years it decreased and reached around 2.7 million, until 2020 it was stable for many years but in 2021 it declined dramatically and acheaved around 1.2 million

By contast the highest number of women was 2011 and acheaved neraly 3,7 million and over years it was variation between under two million and one million people until 2021 it fell to the lowest amount which was around 0,7 million

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 6

amount: 4

smoked: 4

cigarettes: 3

between: 3

number: 3

years: 3

around: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by describing overall trends and comparing male and female smokers, but it contains significant inaccuracies and irrelevant information. The report incorrectly refers to 'England, Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland' instead of the UK, and misstates key data points (e.g., 'nearly to fifth of 10 million' is unclear, and the final figures for women are wrong). The structure is somewhat disorganized, and comparisons are not clearly made. To improve, focus on accurately selecting and reporting the main features from the visual, such as the overall decline for both genders, the consistently higher number of male smokers, and the notable drop in 2021. Avoid adding unsupported details and ensure data is paraphrased correctly.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report attempts to present an overview and some details, but the overall structure is unclear and the message is difficult to follow. The paragraphs are not logically organised, and the use of cohesive devices is limited and often inaccurate. To improve, create a clear overall structure: an introduction that paraphrases the task, an overview highlighting the main trends, and then a paragraph for each gender or a paragraph comparing them. Use a range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly', 'over the period') to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is very limited and often inappropriate or inaccurate (e.g., 'amount of people', 'smoked cigarettes man', 'cetizen', 'acheaved'). There is little attempt to use a range of words or to paraphrase the data effectively. To improve, learn and practice using a wider range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends (e.g., 'rose', 'fell', 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable') and data (e.g., 'approximately', 'just over', 'a significant drop'). Also, ensure correct word forms and collocations (e.g., 'number of people', 'male smokers').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that significantly hinder understanding. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'In 2011 was the largest amount' is missing a subject. To improve, focus on writing simple, clear sentences first. Review basic grammar rules, especially for describing past data (past simple tense). Practice constructing sentences with a clear subject and verb, and ensure that each sentence is complete and grammatically correct.

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