Bar Chart

Band 6+: The graph below shows the Change in Consumption of Energy attained from different sources, in different sectors, from 2018 to 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows the Change in Consumption of Energy attained from different sources, in different sectors, from 2018 to 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows changes in energy consumption (measured in Ktoe – Thousand tonnes) across three sectors: Agriculture, Commercial, and Public Admin. Agriculture shows minor changes with approximately -1 Ktoe (Solid Fuels), -0.5 Ktoe (Natural Gas), 0 Ktoe (Electricity), 0 Ktoe (Heat), +2 Ktoe (Bio & Waste), and -4 Ktoe (Petroleum). Commercial indicates moderate reductions with roughly -5 Ktoe (Solid Fuels), -120 Ktoe (Natural Gas), -20 Ktoe (Electricity), -70 Ktoe (Heat), -5 Ktoe (Bio & Waste), and -10 Ktoe (Petroleum). Public Admin shows notable variations with about -15 Ktoe (Solid Fuels), -35 Ktoe (Natural Gas), -70 Ktoe (Electricity), 0 Ktoe (Heat), +0.1 Ktoe (Bio & Waste), and -5 Ktoe (Petroleum).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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This graph represents the evolution in the use of Energy from differnt sources in multiple domains, from 2018 to 2019.

As we can see through the graph, the biggest positive change is reported in the agricultural sector where natural gas, petroleum and heat have accounted for a growth of 40 ktoe, whereas the biggest negative evolution has been made in the commercial domain, with electricity representing a decrease of 135 ktoe from 2018 to 2019.

First of all, regarding Agriculture, electricity and bio and waste have created a change of -10 ktoe with the electricity acounting for most of it while the remaining soruces (heat, natural gas and petroleum) have created an augmentation of 40 ktoe.

Secondly, the commercial sector has seen a strong change of -130 ktoe solely from electricity and an increase of 30 ktoe with the main sources being petroleum and bio and waste, followed by natural gas.

Finally, the Public Admin sector experieced a relatively important decrease of 120 ktoe, natural gas and electricity representing most of the decrease while heat, petroleum and solid fuels accounted for the remainder. The sector has also experienced a small positive change of 3 ktoe, the source being bio and waste.

Word Count: 201

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

electricity: 5

change: 4

sector: 4

natural: 4

petroleum: 3

decrease: 3

waste: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing changes in energy consumption across sectors, but it contains significant inaccuracies and omissions. Key data points are misreported (e.g., agriculture's positive change is stated as 40 ktoe, while the visual description indicates minor changes; commercial electricity is given as -135 ktoe, whereas the description suggests -20 ktoe). These inaccuracies detract from the overall task achievement. To improve, ensure that all figures are accurately represented and that the report focuses on the main features with clear comparisons. Avoid overstating changes and include all relevant sources for each sector. Additionally, proofread for spelling errors (e.g., 'differnt', 'soruces', 'acounting', 'experieced') and maintain a formal tone throughout.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized with clear paragraphing for each sector, and the overall structure is easy to follow. However, some transitions and comparisons could be smoother, and the opening sentence could be more concise. The use of cohesive devices is adequate but not always natural, and there are minor lapses in coherence when the data is presented without clear links to the overall trend. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that comparisons between sectors are explicitly stated. Additionally, avoid repetitive phrasing and make the flow of information more seamless.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary related to energy and trends, such as 'evolution', 'augmentation', and 'decrease', which is appropriate for the task. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'created a change' and 'accounting for most of it', which could be more precise. The word 'sources' is misspelled as 'soruces', and 'experienced' is misspelled as 'experieced'. To improve, use more precise and varied vocabulary, and ensure correct spelling and word choice. For example, 'reported a change' could be 'showed a variation', and 'created an augmentation' could be 'resulted in an increase'. Also, avoid overusing 'change' and 'decrease' by using synonyms like 'fluctuation', 'decline', or 'rise'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and appropriate use of tenses. However, there are minor errors in punctuation and grammar, such as missing commas after introductory phrases and some awkward sentence constructions. For example, 'As we can see through the graph' could be 'As can be seen from the graph', and 'the biggest positive change is reported' could be 'the largest positive change was reported'. The report also has a few spelling errors that affect accuracy. To improve, focus on sentence variety and ensure that all punctuation is correctly used. Additionally, proofread to eliminate minor errors and enhance clarity.

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