Line Graph

Band 4+: The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six- month in 2011.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six- month in 2011.

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The image displays a line graph illustrating the number of enquiries received by a Tourist Information Office over six months in 2011: in January, telephone enquiries numbered at approximately 400, letter/email enquiries at just under 800, and in-person enquiries at around 450; February saw telephone enquiries remain just below 400, letter/email decrease slightly to 700, and in-person reach 600; March data shows telephone remained around 400, letter/email dropped further to 600, while in-person rose to 800; April noted telephone at 500, letter/email decreasing to 400, and in-person climbing to 1250; May showcased telephone reaching 800, letter/email decreasing to 350, and in-person increasing further to 1600; June recorded telephone peaking at 1600, letter/email remaining steady at 350, and in-person enquiries culminating at 1900.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates the amount of enquiries received by Tourist Information Office in specific city from January to June in 2011.

Overall the enquiries received in persons and by telephones increase gradually while the number of enquiries acquired by letter and email decrease down the graph.

The enquiries received by office in person at the beginning of period is comparitively low as compared to other two which is around 400 while enquiries by telephone is highest with 900. Enquiries in person increases gradually till March with 800. Futhermore, it grows up dramatically from March and April with the increase by 500 and then move to 1900 by the end of period. While, there is fluctuations in enquiries by telephone which ends up at 1600.

On the other hand, enquiries by letters and emails starts with 750 and declines gradually from January to May with the change of 250 approximately. Then it remained constant till the end of period.

Word Count: 159

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

enquiries: 8

received: 3

gradually: 3

while: 3

period: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main trends of the graph, but there are significant issues with data accuracy and clarity. There is a contradiction in the first body paragraph where the student states telephone enquiries are the highest at 900, which does not align with the provided data or the subsequent description of the trend. Additionally, some descriptions of the data movements are confusing (e.g., describing a 'gradual increase' for telephone enquiries when the data shows a massive surge at the end). To improve, ensure that all numerical data cited is consistent with the visual information and focus on grouping data logically to highlight comparisons between the three categories more effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a basic structure, but the progression of ideas is sometimes interrupted by awkward phrasing and punctuation errors. The use of cohesive devices is limited and occasionally used incorrectly (e.g., starting a sentence with 'While' in a way that creates a fragment). To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and use a wider variety of linking words to connect sentences smoothly rather than relying on simple transitions like 'On the other hand'.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks the precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of imprecise word choices, such as 'amount of enquiries' (enquiries are countable, so 'number' should be used) and 'decrease down the graph'. Additionally, phrases like 'grows up dramatically' are more suited to describing people or children than data trends. Aim to use more academic collocations, such as 'witnessed a significant rise' or 'experienced a downward trend'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'enquiries... starts', 'enquiries... is'), article usage (e.g., 'by Tourist Information Office'), and sentence structure. There is also a lack of control over complex sentence forms. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and practicing the use of relative clauses to combine ideas more effectively.

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