Line Graph

Band 6+: The graph below shows the numbers of people in four US states working in the motor-vehicle industry from 1990 to 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

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Image for topic: The graph below shows the numbers of people in four US states working in the motor-vehicle industry from 1990 to 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

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The image depicts employment trends in the motor vehicle manufacturing industry for Michigan, Ohio, Indiana, and Alabama from 1990 to 2010. Michigan started around 110,000 in 1990, dropping to 34,900 in 2010, with notable declines post-2000. Ohio stayed relatively stable around 30,000 until 2000, then decreased to 18,100 by 2010. Indiana varied around 20,000 until 2000, then declined to 13,400. Alabama's employment started near zero in 1990, rising to about 10,200 in 2010. These figures represent annual averages and are not seasonally adjusted.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

This wire diagram presents the statistics of citizens in 4 US states who worked in the motor-vehicle industry from the year 1990 to 2010. As it stands, Michigan seems to be an outstanding state by the numbers of workers as it exceeds all other states across the entire time period, reaching a peak of a hundred thousand in 1990 then sharply decreasing in number as time goes on.

As for Ohio, It displays a fewer count of people employed in the field, which starts at around 40 thousand then steadily declines moving on.

Lastly, both the states of Indiana and Alabama show a very low count of indivduals linked to the motor manufacture business. However the near-negligible counts of Alabama and the slightly higher employment rates in Indiana experience a slow but persistent rise in new drafts, which get them close to the average shown by places like the Ohio state

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

states: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some main features but lacks sufficient detail and accuracy. The description of trends is general and doesn't fully capture the nuances of the data. To improve, provide more specific data points and comparisons, and ensure accuracy in representing the trends for each state. Also, include a more structured overview and conclusion.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview of the data, but the organization could be improved for better clarity. Consider grouping states with similar trends together and using more explicit transition words to guide the reader through the comparison. For example, you could start with an overview paragraph, then discuss Michigan's decline, followed by the trends in Ohio, Indiana, and Alabama, highlighting their similarities and differences.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. For instance, instead of 'outstanding state,' you could use 'leading state' or 'state with the highest employment.' Also, try to avoid repetitive phrases like 'count of people' by using synonyms such as 'number of employees' or 'workforce size.' Incorporating more specific vocabulary related to employment trends (e.g., 'plummeted,' 'plateaued,' 'gradual increase') would enhance the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'It displays a fewer count of people' should be 'It displays a lower count of people' or 'It shows fewer people.' Also, 'new drafts' is not the appropriate term; consider using 'new hires' or 'new employees.' Proofreading carefully and focusing on correct verb tense and subject-verb agreement will improve the grammatical accuracy.

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