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Band 5+: The graph below shows the percentage of people visiting gym one a month or more between 1984 and 2003 by age group.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows the percentage of people visiting gym one a month or more between 1984 and 2003 by age group.

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The image displays a graph detailing the percentage of people visiting the gym at least once per month from 1984 to 2003 across three age groups: 16-25, 26-45, and 46-65. In 1984, 16-25 had 50%, 26-45 showed 22%, and 46-65 recorded 11%. By 1989, 16-25 decreased to 45%, 26-45 rose to 32%, and 46-65 increased slightly to 12%. In 1994, age group 16-25 remained at 45%, 26-45 peaked at 40%, and 46-65 slightly increased to 15%. In 1999, 16-25 surged to 55%, 26-45 dropped to 30%, and 46-65 stabilized at 15%. By 2003, 16-25 climbed to 60%, 26-45 ascended to 35%, and 46-65 remained at 15%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given line graph illustrates the percentage of visitors of gym once a month or more from 1984 to 2003 by age group.

Overall, it can be clearly seen that the number of adults between 18 and 25 increased rapidly whereas other age groups fluctuated among the period. Also, elderlies around 45-65 who attended gym classes saw slight decrease.

People whose age 26 to 45 visited gym was 30%, it was the highest degree in 1984, this number rose to 40% the next five years. Then, it saw slight decrease before being increased to around 55%.The percentage of visitors of gym who around 18-25 was only 15%. This number rise to the 65% to 2003, reaching the highest value among all age groups.

The number of elderlies from 46 to 65 was nearly 30% before falling to 15% to 2003. It was the lowest value in 2003. Adults around 65 and more was only 10% , this number rose to approximately 20% at 1994. After that, it show fluctuation and reached 20% to the end.

Word Count: 175

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

number: 5

around: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains some inaccuracies and irrelevant information. The description of the data contains some errors, and the writing could be more precise. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and avoid including irrelevant details. Also, ensure that the overall trends and specific data points are correctly identified and described.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear structure and logical flow. The information is not presented in a coherent manner, making it difficult to follow the trends and comparisons between age groups. Paragraphing is weak, and the overall organization needs significant improvement. For example, the second paragraph mentions '18 and 25' while the graph specifies '16-25'. The report also includes contradictory statements, such as elderlies seeing a slight decrease while also stating their numbers fell to 15% in 2003. Focus on organizing the information chronologically or by age group, and ensure accuracy in data representation.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of more sophisticated language to describe the trends and changes in the graph. The report relies on simple words like 'increased,' 'decreased,' and 'fluctuated' without providing more nuanced descriptions. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to trends and comparisons, such as 'peaked,' 'remained stable,' 'experienced a surge,' or 'witnessed a decline.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and inaccuracies that impede understanding. Sentence structures are often awkward, and there are issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. For example, 'People whose age 26 to 45 visited gym was 30%' is grammatically incorrect. The report also includes inaccuracies in data representation, such as stating the percentage of visitors aged 18-25 was only 15%, which contradicts the graph. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence construction to enhance clarity.

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Band 5+: The graph below shows the percentage of people visiting gym one a month or more between 1984 and 2003 by age group.

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Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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