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Band 6+: The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

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The image charts the percentage of the population aged 65 and older spanning ninety years (1940-2040) in Japan, Sweden, and the USA. Japan's population aged 65+ started at 5% in 1940, hit 10% by 1990, and is projected to reach 30% by 2040. Sweden's proportion began at 7% in 1940, reaching 17% by 1990, and anticipating 25% by 2040. The USA's percentage commenced at 8% in 1940, achieving 13% by 1990, and expecting to hit nearly 23% by 2040.

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The line graph presents the number of proportion of the demographic group aged 65 in Japan, Sweden and USA from 1940 to 2040.

Overall, the proportion of people aged 65 and over increased in all three countries over the period shown. The population of Japan decreased throughout the given period. Despite the majority people of Sweden initially, this was surpassed by those arriving on population of USA in the final two years.

In 1940, the proportion of people aged 65 and over was higher in the USA than in Sweden. Over the following decades, both countries experienced a steady increase in this figure. The percentage in the USA rose gradually throughout the period, while Sweden showed a similar upward trend, overtaking the USA around the late 20th century. By 2040, both countries are projected to have significantly larger elderly populations compared to their initial levels.

In contrast, Japan shows a markedly different pattern over the period. From 1940 to around 2030, Japan recorded one of the lowest proportions of people aged 65 and over. However, after this point, the figure rose sharply, becoming the highest among the three countries by the end of the period.

Word Count: 195

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

period: 5

japan: 4

sweden: 4

people: 4

countries: 4

proportion: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and provides some comparison between the three countries. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported, and the second paragraph contains some unclear statements. To improve, ensure data accuracy and clarity in descriptions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally coherent, but there are some issues with the flow of information and logical progression of ideas. The second paragraph contains some unclear statements. For example, 'The population of Japan decreased throughout the given period' is contradictory to the visual description. Also, the phrase 'Despite the majority people of Sweden initially, this was surpassed by those arriving on population of USA in the final two years' is unclear and disrupts the flow. Improve the clarity of your sentences and ensure that your statements are logically connected. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader through the information.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement in terms of precision and sophistication. The language used is generally appropriate for the task, but some phrases could be more concise and impactful. For example, instead of 'the number of proportion of the demographic group aged 65,' you could simply say 'the proportion of people aged 65.' Try to incorporate a wider variety of synonyms and more precise vocabulary to enhance the quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect the clarity and accuracy of the writing. For example, 'Despite the majority people of Sweden initially' is grammatically incorrect. Also, there are instances where the sentence structure is awkward or unclear. Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and proper sentence construction. Proofread your work carefully to identify and correct any grammatical errors before submitting your report.

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