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Band 4+: The graph gives information about the number of yearly visits from France and North America for holiday and business. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The graph gives information about the number of yearly visits from France and North America for holiday and business. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image includes two line graphs showing the number of yearly visits to the UK from France and North America for holiday and business purposes. The first graph (Holiday visits to UK - million) shows visits from France starting at 0.5 (Jan), peaking at 3.5 (Jul), and ending at around 0.2 (Dec); North America figures starting at about 0.3 (Jan), peaking at 0.4 (Jul), and finishing at about 0.1 (Dec). The second graph (Business visits to UK - million) shows visits from France starting at around 0.1 (Jan), peaking near 0.3 (Jun), and ending at around 0.2 (Dec); North America figures starting at 0.2 (Jan), peaking around 0.2 (Jun), and falling below 0.1 towards year-end (Dec).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graphs compare the number of visits for holiday and business purposes from France and North America across four seasons.

Overall, it can be seen that the number of visits which go for holidays is much more than for working purposes in the UK. Particularly, the UK is on the top options with holiday and business purposes in North America than those in France .Besides,regarding tours for holiday, visits from North America hit a peak in the mid-autumn in the UK. Regarding the business visits, the number of the visits both from France and North America witnesses a mirror identical pattern, except for the three last month.

Turning the holiday visits to the UK, from January to March, there records an increase in both France and North America.While the visits in France slightly rise at 0,5 million tours, this of North America as an emergence dominant in the UK by 3 million visits from March to September. In the end period, these figures decline in the colder season to repeat the yearly cycle again.

Regarding the business visits to the UK, the amount of people visiting the UK from France and North America was 150,000 and 50,000 respectively. Both countries registered a significant increase in the first five months, a slight drop in the hotter season. During the end of year, while reporting the gradual increase is a mount of tours from North America by over 300,000, this of France has a slight fluctuation by 150,000.

Word Count: 247

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

visits: 9

north: 8

france: 7

america: 7

holiday: 4

business: 4

number: 3

purposes: 3

tours: 3

increase: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task and identifies some trends, but there are significant issues with data accuracy and clarity. Some descriptions of the data contradict the visual information (for example, stating North America becomes dominant in holiday visits or providing specific figures like 300,000 that do not align with the provided scale). Additionally, the overview contains confusing phrasing regarding which country is 'on top.' To improve, focus on ensuring that comparisons are logically sound and that the data reported accurately reflects the trends shown in the graphs. Work on using clearer sentence structures to describe trends, such as 'increased,' 'decreased,' or 'remained stable,' to avoid ambiguity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat logical, but the progression of ideas is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections. While you attempt to use cohesive devices (e.g., 'Overall', 'Regarding', 'Besides'), they are often used incorrectly or do not lead to a smooth transition between thoughts. To improve, focus on using linking words that logically connect the data points rather than just starting sentences with them. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed consistently.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is often inaccurate or used in a way that obscures meaning. For example, phrases like 'on the top options', 'as an emergence dominant', and 'mirror identical pattern' are not natural English and make it difficult for the reader to understand your comparisons. There is also some confusion between 'tours', 'visits', and 'people'. Aim to use more precise academic vocabulary for describing trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', 'remained steady') and ensure that your word choices fit the context of a statistical report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that impact the clarity of the report. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'there records'), incorrect use of articles, and problematic sentence structures (e.g., 'this of North America as an emergence dominant'). Some sentences are fragmented or contain run-on ideas that make the data hard to follow. I recommend practicing complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses, and focusing on the correct use of prepositions when describing changes in data (e.g., 'an increase of X' vs 'an increase to X').

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