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Band 5+: The graph gives information about the number of yearly visits from France and North America for holiday and business. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The graph gives information about the number of yearly visits from France and North America for holiday and business. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents two line graphs detailing monthly visits to the UK in millions. The first graph, titled "Holiday visits to UK (million)", shows data from France and North America. For France, the monthly visit figures are: Jan 0.9, Feb 1.0, Mar 1.1, Apr 1.2, May 1.3, Jun 1.4, Jul 1.5, Aug 1.4, Sep 1.3, Oct 1.2, Nov 1.0, and Dec 0.9. For North America, the figures are: Jan 0.8, Feb 1.2, Mar 1.6, Apr 2.0, May 2.3, Jun 2.7, Jul 3.0, Aug 2.7, Sep 2.3, Oct 1.8, Nov 1.3, and Dec 0.7. The second graph, "Business visits to UK (million)", displays monthly data for the same regions. For France, the figures are: Jan 0.05, Feb 0.10, Mar 0.15, Apr 0.18, May 0.20, Jun 0.15, Jul 0.12, Aug 0.10, Sep 0.15, Oct 0.20, Nov 0.15, and Dec 0.10. For North America, the figures are: Jan 0.15, Feb 0.20, Mar 0.25, Apr 0.28, May 0.30, Jun 0.25, Jul 0.22, Aug 0.20, Sep 0.28, Oct 0.35, Nov 0.30, and Dec 0.25.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph compares the number of annual visitors to UK from France and North America for holiday and business.

Overall, holidaymakers from North American make up the majority of the population for almost all of the year. Noticeable, the number of business travelers from France and North America show a similar pattern, witnessing the up and down trend in the same period.

In term of holidaymakers, commencing at about 0,8 million travellers. Increasing sharply to peak of 3 million, the number of visitors from North America plumet to just 0,6 million in December. Similarly, tourists from France experience an upward trend to it highest point at 1,5 million in July. In the next 5 months, the figure of France drop margrinally to around 0,9 million at the end of the survey.

Gegarding business travellers, visitors from North America start at 0,15 million and soar to 0,3 million in the next 4 months before falling gradually to approximately 0,2 million in August. Having climbed to a peak of 0,35 million in October, business sightseers witness a significant decline to 0,25 million in December. Likewise, beginning at 0,05 million and reach peak at 0,2 million in May and October, ending at 0,1 million despite some fluctuation.

Word Count: 204

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 13

north: 5

france: 4

america: 4

number: 3

visitors: 3

business: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by identifying the main trends and making relevant comparisons between the two regions and the two types of travel. The overview is clear, highlighting the dominance of North American holidaymakers and the similar patterns in business travel. To improve, ensure more precise data reporting; for instance, the report mentions North American holidaymakers plummeting to 0.6 million, while the visual description suggests 0.7 million. Additionally, while the trends are well-described, some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'the majority of the population' instead of 'the majority of visitors') slightly impact the flow. Focusing on more accurate word choices and smoother transitions between sentences would elevate the quality of the response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat logical, but the cohesion is significantly hindered by sentence fragments and improper transitions. For example, several sentences lack a main subject or verb (e.g., 'In term of holidaymakers, commencing at about 0,8 million travellers.'), which disrupts the flow of information. To improve, ensure every sentence is a complete thought and use cohesive devices (like 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', or 'Regarding') more naturally to link ideas rather than just starting sentences with them.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use a variety of vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'plummet', 'soar', 'fluctuation'), which is positive. However, there are several spelling errors ('plumet', 'margrinally', 'Gegarding') and some awkward word choices ('business sightseers' is an oxymoron as sightseeing is for leisure, not business). Additionally, the use of commas instead of decimal points (e.g., '0,8' instead of '0.8') is non-standard in English academic writing. Focus on accuracy in spelling and choosing precise terminology for the context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('the number... show' should be 'shows'), article usage, and sentence structure. The most significant issue is the use of dangling participles and fragments, where phrases are treated as full sentences. For instance, 'Increasing sharply to peak of 3 million...' is not a complete sentence. Work on mastering complex sentence structures and ensuring that every clause has a clear subject and predicate.

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