Line Graph

Band 5+: The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary from 2000-2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary from 2000-2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image is a line chart displaying yearly income (in dollars) from 2000-2010 for three entities; Amandine Bakery, Mari Bakeshop, Bolo Cakery. Amandine Bakery had a varying income with a peak at 2003 ($100,000), a decline in 2005 ($60,000), and a rise in 2010 ($120,000). Mari Bakeshop had a steady increase from 2000 ($40,000) to 2004 ($80,000), a decline in 2005 ($60,000), and a consistent rise reaching its peak in 2010 ($100,000). Bolo Cakery showed fluctuation with a peak in 2002 ($60,000), a drop in 2004 ($40,000), a rise in 2006 ($60,000), a fall in 2008 ($40,000), ending with a sharp increase in 2010 ($80,000).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given chart provides information about annual income for three different bakeries such as Amandine Bakery, Mari Bakeshop, and Bolo Cakery in 10 years period. Overall, it is clear that two out of three companies has a sigificant increased trend while the rest was decreased.

Amandine Bakery and Bolo Cakery was the two companies and interestingly, they had two different record. Amandine Bakery had a constant amount of income from 2000 to 2005 before starting to rise significantly until it reach its peak at slighly above $100.000 in 2010. On the other hand, the revenue of Bolo Cakey fluctuated in the first three years and begin to stabilezed at just below $400.000 from 2003 to 2005. Furthermore, their number went down for a bit oin 2006 and followed by steady growth to be peaked at more than $60.000 at the end of the period.

Meanwhile, Mari Bakeshop, which was the only shop that has major fall, opened their account with the highest annual income at just above $60.000 in 2000. Thier number jumped to nearly $100.000 in 2001 before declining to $80.000 for the next two years. In addition, Their income grew to between $80.000 and $100.000 before eventually falling to about $60.000 in 2006. Finally, The income touched exactly $60.000 in the following year, but droping steadily to $40.000 in 2010.

Word Count: 222

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

income: 5

$60000: 4

three: 3

bakery: 3

years: 3

before: 3

$100000: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task and provides a description of the trends for all three bakeries. However, there are significant issues with data accuracy that impact the overall clarity of the report. For instance, the report mentions a figure of '$400.000' for Bolo Cakery, which is far outside the range of the provided data, and the description of Mari Bakeshop's trend contradicts the general upward trend described in the visual information. To improve, ensure that all numerical data is double-checked against the visual source and that the overview accurately reflects the general direction of the trends (e.g., whether the majority of companies increased or decreased). Focus on maintaining consistency between your summary and the specific data points provided.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and incorrect use of cohesive devices. For instance, the transition between describing the bakeries is somewhat disjointed. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that linking words (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Subsequently', 'Regarding') are used to create a smooth flow between sentences and ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and contains several spelling and word-form errors (e.g., 'sigificant', 'stabilezed', 'Cakey', 'droping'). There is also some confusion in word choice, such as 'opened their account' which is not appropriate for describing a starting data point in a line graph. Aim to use a wider range of academic synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' (e.g., 'surged', 'plummeted', 'fluctuated') and ensure correct spelling to improve precision.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede communication. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'two out of three companies has', 'Amandine Bakery and Bolo Cakery was'), tense consistency, and article usage. Additionally, there are errors in sentence structure and punctuation. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that verb tenses remain consistent when describing historical data. Practicing complex sentence structures with correct subordinating conjunctions will also help raise the score.

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