Bar Chart

Band 6+: The graph shows the number of visitors to a variety of art galleries in 2011. Summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The graph shows the number of visitors to a variety of art galleries in 2011. Summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image is a bar graph showing the number of visitors to art galleries in 2011. Louvre (France) had the highest number of visitors at 8.5 million, followed by Metropolitan Museum (USA) with 6 million, British Museum (UK) with 5.8 million, National Museum of Korea with 3.1 million, Museo del Prado (Spain) with 2.9 million, and State Hermitage (Russia) with 2.5 million. The Y-axis represents the number of visitors in millions, while the X-axis lists the names of the museums.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar graph below showed how many people, expressed in millions, visited art galleries in 2011 in different museums: Louvre in France, Metropolitan Museum in USA, British Museum in UK, National Museum of Korea, Museo del Prado in Spain and State Hermitage in Russia.

Overall, the graph revealed that the museum with most number of visitors was the Louvre in France, with approximately 9 millions of visititors in 2011. Also, while the Louvre reached the highest point and left behind the others museums, the State Hermitage in Russia had the least number of visitors in 2011.

In addition, the difference between the museums, in terms of people who visit art galleries, was not large. However, the information contained in the graph, illustrated that the National Museum of Korea, Museo del Prado in Spain and the State Hermitage in Russia had fewer visitors than the other three, with an average of 3 million.

The Metropolitan Museum in USA and the British Museum in UK had similar numbers of people who visited their art galleries, both more or less 6 million

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

museum: 7

graph: 3

people: 3

galleries: 3

louvre: 3

state: 3

hermitage: 3

visitors: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the bar graph and making some comparisons. However, there are a few areas for improvement. The report could benefit from more specific data points and a clearer structure. For instance, instead of saying 'the difference between the museums, in terms of people who visit art galleries, was not large,' you could provide specific comparisons between certain museums to highlight the differences more effectively. Also, the organization of the paragraphs could be improved to present a more coherent analysis. For example, grouping museums by visitor numbers (high, medium, low) could provide a clearer overview. Finally, ensure that all numbers cited are accurate according to the graph.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally organized with an introduction, overview, and specific details. However, the transitions between some sentences and ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from the Louvre to the State Hermitage in the second paragraph feels somewhat abrupt. Consider using transition words or phrases to connect ideas more logically. The paragraphing is acceptable, but ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'number of visitors,' try alternative phrases like 'attendance figures' or 'visitor count.' Also, be mindful of using more specific vocabulary related to describing data, such as 'significantly higher,' 'marginally lower,' etc., to add more depth to your descriptions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, '9 millions of visititors' should be '9 million visitors.' Also, the sentence 'Also, while the Louvre reached the highest point and left behind the others museums, the State Hermitage in Russia had the least number of visitors in 2011' is grammatically awkward and could be rephrased for better clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and sentence structure to improve grammatical accuracy.

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