Bar Chart

Band 5+: The graph shows the percentage of women working in 6 countries in 1960, 1970 and 1980. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting on th e main features and make comparisons where relevant

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Image for topic: The graph shows the percentage of women working in 6 countries in 1960, 1970 and 1980. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting on th e main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The image shows UK 1970: 35%, 2005: 60%; USA 1970: 37%, 2005: 58%; Canada 1970: 40%, 2005: 60%; Japan 1970: 19%, 2005: 40%; Germany 1970: 28%, 2005: 55%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of female applying into universities in the UK, the USA, Canada, Japan, and Germany in 1970 and 2005.

Overall, it is easy to notice that the proportion of women apply to universities considerably increased approximately to maximum over the time. In contrast, only application to Japan did not got maximum, however doubled.

In 1970, the percentage of the submission of documents to the UK and USA was nearly similar with a difference of 5%, by 2005 the difference remained the same however applications increased to 60% (UK) and 55% (USA).

In 1970, the submission of documents to Canada was the common choice, over years this indication did not changed, remained the same 60%. In contrast to Canada, the percentage of women going into Japan was the fewer choice, only about 20%, in 1970. However, this indicator doubled by the 21st century, at 40%. In addition, German was the second country where applications was common, 50%. After 35 years, this index grew to 4-5%.

Word Count: 169

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 3

canada: 3

japan: 3

however: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and provides relevant data from the bar chart. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., the USA in 2005 is reported as 55% instead of 58%, and Germany in 1970 is reported as 50% instead of 28%). Also, the final sentence is unclear ('After 35 years, this index grew to 4-5%.'). To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and that descriptions are clear and precise.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow is somewhat disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between ideas. Paragraphing is present but could be improved to better group related information. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the data and highlight key trends.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the task, but there are instances of imprecise word choice ('got maximum,' 'fewer choice,' 'common choice') that affect clarity. Expanding your vocabulary and focusing on more accurate and nuanced language would enhance the report. For example, instead of 'common choice,' consider 'most popular' or 'highest percentage'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors impede understanding and detract from the overall quality of the writing. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Review and correct errors carefully before submitting your work.

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