Line Graph

Band 6+: The line chart below shows the employment rate in four different industries in Australia from 1985 to 2015, in five-year intervals. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The line chart below shows the employment rate in four different industries in Australia from 1985 to 2015, in five-year intervals. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a line graph, with the x-axis representing years from 1985 to 2015 and the y-axis representing job growth ranging from 0 to 60. Four lines represent four different industries: Technology (navy blue), Healthcare (purple), Construction (pink), and Retail (red). Technology starts at around 10 in 1985 and increases to around 55 in 2015. Healthcare starts at around 10 in 1985 and increases to around 60 in 2015. Construction starts above 20 in 1985 and slightly decreases in 1995 before climbing to around 50 in 2015. Retail starts around 15 in 1985, peaks around 20 in 2000, and then steadily declines to around 5 in 2015.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph illustrates the rate of employment in four distinct industries in Australia between 1985 and 2015, in five-year intervals. Overall, three of the four industries recorded a rise in the employment rate throughout the period, except for the Retail industry. Although the Retail industry started with the highest employment rate, it ended with the lowest rate among the four industries.

Starting at roughly 14% in 1985, the proportion of employment in Retail industry was the highest. In addition, the figure went up marginally by 10% for the next ten years before dropping constantly to around 5% in 2015.

The percentage of employment in Technology industry was the second highest, at 12%, which was just 2% higher than that in Healthcare. Nevertheless, the figure for Healthcare overtook the Retail and the Technology industries in the first five years and continued to grow, before being surpassed by Technology between 2000 and 2005 and ending with the highest employment rate in 2015, at 60%. The 30-year period witnessed a continuous upward trend from 8% to 52% in employment rate in the Construction category. The proportion of employment in Technology industry was at 55% in the last year.

Word Count: 207

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

employment: 8

industry: 5

retail: 4

highest: 4

technology: 4

industries: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the graph and provides a clear overview of the trends. Comparisons between the industries are made, which is essential for this task. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data interpretation and logical flow. For instance, the report states that Retail started with the highest employment rate, but the visual description suggests Construction started higher. Additionally, the description of the Technology and Healthcare trends is slightly confusing regarding which industry surpassed which. To improve, ensure that the relationship between the lines is described with more precision and double-check that the comparative statements (e.g., 'highest' or 'second highest') align accurately with the data points provided.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report contains a significant error at the very beginning where it includes the task instructions ('selecting and reporting the main features...') as part of the text. This should be removed. While the logical progression of ideas is generally clear, the paragraphing is somewhat disjointed. The transition between discussing Retail and the other three industries could be smoother. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and use more sophisticated cohesive devices to link the trends of different industries together rather than just listing them.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with good use of terms like 'illustrates', 'distinct', 'marginally', and 'witnessed a continuous upward trend'. However, there is some repetition of words like 'employment rate' and 'industry'. To reach a higher band, try to use a wider variety of synonyms and more precise collocations. For example, instead of 'the figure went up', you could use 'experienced a modest increase' or 'climbed slightly'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical inaccuracies, particularly with article usage (e.g., 'in Retail industry' should be 'in the Retail industry') and prepositional phrasing. There is also some confusion in the description of the trends (e.g., 'dropping constantly' might be better expressed as 'declining steadily'). Focus on the consistent use of definite articles when referring to specific industries and ensure that your verb choices accurately reflect the nature of the data movement.

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