Line Graph

Band 6+: The line chart below shows the employment rate in four different industries in Australia from 1985 to 2015, in five-year intervals. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The line chart below shows the employment rate in four different industries in Australia from 1985 to 2015, in five-year intervals. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a line graph, with the x-axis representing years from 1985 to 2015 and the y-axis representing job growth ranging from 0 to 60. Four lines represent four different industries: Technology (navy blue), Healthcare (purple), Construction (pink), and Retail (red). Technology starts at around 10 in 1985 and increases to around 55 in 2015. Healthcare starts at around 10 in 1985 and increases to around 60 in 2015. Construction starts above 20 in 1985 and slightly decreases in 1995 before climbing to around 50 in 2015. Retail starts around 15 in 1985, peaks around 20 in 2000, and then steadily declines to around 5 in 2015.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates the number of workers in four various job sectors in Australia between 1985 and 2015.

Overall, the graph shows the upward trend. The healthcare employees demonstrate the highest point, while the retail section’s workers show the smallest point.

In detail, although the healthcare section experienced fluctuation this section showed the highest figure about from 15 to 60 in the given period. The technology section also had a fluctuation and showed the second highest point about 55 in three decades.

By contrast, the construction sections experienced the upward trend and it increased gradually about 50 between 1985 and 2015, whit out any fluctuation and decrease. The retail section illustrated the smallest figure in the given period. It peaked in 1995 at 25, but it decreased suddenly from 1995 to 2015 and showed the smallest number of workers only 5.

Word Count: 142

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

section: 4

workers: 3

highest: 3

smallest: 3

fluctuation: 3

showed: 3

about: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task, providing a general overview and some specific details about the trends in the four job sectors. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions that could be improved. To enhance the response, consider including more precise data points and avoiding generalizations. Also, ensure that descriptions of trends are accurate and nuanced, reflecting the actual fluctuations and changes in the graph. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The 'Overall' paragraph is a bit too general and could benefit from more specific observations. The subsequent paragraphs lack clear transitions between sectors, making it slightly difficult to follow the comparison. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. The word 'fluctuation' is used repeatedly. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to describe trends and changes. For example, instead of always saying 'showed the highest point,' consider using phrases like 'reached its zenith' or 'peaked at.' Also, be careful about using the correct form of words (e.g., 'whit out' should be 'without').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'The healthcare employees demonstrate the highest point' is not grammatically sound. Also, there are issues with preposition usage ('about from 15 to 60') and sentence structure. Focus on improving sentence construction and ensuring correct grammar and punctuation throughout the report. Proofreading carefully can help catch these errors.

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