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Band 6+: The line chart below shows the percentage of people in different age groups who played video games more than ten hours a week between 2010 and 2015

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Image for topic: The line chart below shows the percentage of people in different age groups who played video games more than ten hours a week between 2010 and 2015

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The image contains a line graph with a y-axis from 0 to 80 and an x-axis showing years 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, and 2015, tracking five age groups. For the 16-24 age group, the values for 2010 to 2015 are approximately 42, 55, 58, 60, 63, and 70. The 25-44 age group values are 40, 32, 30, 32, 40, and 48. The 45-54 age group values are approximately 52, 40, 50, 52, 52, and 53. The 55-64 age group values are approximately 25, 30, 30, 29, 25, and 23. For the 75+ age group, the values are approximately 10, 22, 12, 10, 13, and 21.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The given diagram illustrates the data about different age range of individuals who wasted more than 10 hours a week, over a period of 5 years from 2010 to 2015.

At first glance, it is clear that while the group of 16-24 ages increased considerably, other groups of ages changed intermittently.

Turning to the details, we can see that, in 2011, the team ages as 16 to 24, 55 to 64, and 75 years old populace soared gradually, whereas the age community 45 to 54, and 25 to 44 years old, fell by approximately 10 percentage.

From 2013 ro 2015, the figures for the 16 to 24 years old and the 25 to 44 years old and who are aged 75 rocketed noticeably. In addition the figures for the 45 to 54 age group ended at around 52%, respectively, in 2015. Turning to the remaining group, the 55 to 64 age group’s attendance at video games declined slightly from about 25% in 2010 to just below 22% in 2015.

Word Count: 169

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

years: 5

group: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and provides some supporting data, but there are some omissions and inaccuracies. To improve, ensure all key trends are captured and that data points are accurately represented. Also, pay attention to grammar and word choice for clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. The overview is present but could be more concise and focused. The body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, making it harder to follow the main trends. Transitions between sentences and ideas are sometimes abrupt. For example, the shift from discussing increases in some age groups to decreases in others in the third paragraph could be smoother. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the flow of information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but could be more precise and varied. There are instances of less appropriate word choices ('wasted' instead of 'spent,' 'team ages' instead of 'age group'). While the range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey the information, using more specific and sophisticated language would enhance the report. For example, instead of 'soared gradually,' consider using 'increased steadily' or 'rose incrementally.' Also, avoid informal language. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a mix of simple and complex sentences, but there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors include incorrect verb tenses ('ages increased'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing ('the team ages as 16 to 24'). While the overall meaning is usually clear, these errors detract from the report's professionalism and impact. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your writing.

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