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Band 4+: "The line graph below illustrates the proportion of mobile phone sales by three manufacturers (Motorola, Nokia and Sony Ericsson) between 1994 and 2004."

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The image displays a line graph titled 'Market share of three manufacturers of mobile phones', plotting market share as a percentage of sales from 1994 to 2004. For Motorola, the market share percentages were: 32% in 1994, 31% in 1995, 27% in 1996, 24% in 1997, 21.5% in 1998, 19.5% in 1999, 13.5% in 2000, 15.5% in 2001, 17% in 2002, 15.5% in 2003, and 17.5% in 2004. For Nokia, the percentages were: 21% in 1994, 23.5% in 1995, 20% in 1996, 19.5% in 1997, 22.5% in 1998, 27.5% in 1999, 30.5% in 2000, 35% in 2001, 37% in 2002, 36% in 2003, and 30% in 2004. For Sony Ericsson, the percentages were: 11% in 1994, 10% in 1995, 12.5% in 1996, 14% in 1997, 15.5% in 1998, 11.5% in 1999, 10.5% in 2000, 9% in 2001, 7.5% in 2002, 6.5% in 2003, and 9.5% in 2004.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line chart represent a market show of three manufacturers of cellphone which calls Mototola , Nokia , and Sony Ericsson over the decade in percentage.

In general Mototola hit the highest point at the beginning of the graph in 1994 While Nokia in 1995 rise sharply but after a time show a downward trend but Sony Ericsson fall gradually and stood at in the lowest trend.

For real the highest percentage was in Mototola at the beginning of the period nearly one-third in 1994 however In 1995, the percentage of sales started sharply fall , so in 2000 was 15 % after started slightly increase. According to the line graph Nokia was 21% in 1994 but wasn’t as popular as Matotola.In 1995, Nokia rose only for 2% after fall gradually.In 1998 , the sales of this product climbed sharply so In 2002 was peak of 35 % respectively.

At the other hand the lowest percentage of sales was Sory Ericsson but in 1995 rosed sharply and became 15% and dropped steadily in the 2003 year to 7%.

Word Count: 178

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

nokia: 4

sharply: 4

mototola: 3

ericsson: 3

after: 3

percentage: 3

sales: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the main trends in the graph, but it contains inaccuracies and lacks detail. The organization is not very clear, and the language contains errors. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, organizing the information logically (e.g., by overall trends or by company), and using more precise language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The information is not presented in a cohesive manner, making it difficult to follow the trends and comparisons between the manufacturers. Paragraphing is weak, and the transitions between sentences and ideas are often abrupt. Consider organizing the report with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on each manufacturer or specific trends, and a concluding statement. Use cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, adverbs, pronouns) to link ideas and sentences smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and sometimes inaccurate. There are instances of incorrect word choice (e.g., "market show" instead of "market share", "Mototola" instead of "Motorola"). The range of vocabulary related to describing trends (e.g., increase, decrease, peak, fluctuate) is also limited. Expand your vocabulary by learning synonyms and more precise terms to describe changes and comparisons. Pay attention to spelling and use a dictionary or spell-checker to avoid errors.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impede clarity and comprehension. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually incorporate more complex structures as your accuracy improves. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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Band 4+: "The line graph below illustrates the proportion of mobile phone sales by three manufacturers (Motorola, Nokia and Sony Ericsson) between 1994 and 2004."

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Answers On The Same Topic:

“The line graph below illustrates the proportion of mobile phone sales by three manufacturers (Motorola, Nokia and Sony Ericsson) between 1994 and 2004.”

“The line graph below illustrates the proportion of mobile phone sales by three manufacturers (Motorola, Nokia and Sony Ericsson) between 1994 and 2004.”

“The line graph below illustrates the proportion of mobile phone sales by three manufacturers (Motorola, Nokia and Sony Ericsson) between 1994 and 2004.”

“The line graph below illustrates the proportion of mobile phone sales by three manufacturers (Motorola, Nokia and Sony Ericsson) between 1994 and 2004.”

“The line graph below illustrates the proportion of mobile phone sales by three manufacturers (Motorola, Nokia and Sony Ericsson) between 1994 and 2004.”

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