Line Graph

Band 6+: The line graph shows social media use among 30-45 year-olds in New Zealand in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The line graph shows social media use among 30-45 year-olds in New Zealand in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image is a line chart showing social media use among 30-45-year-olds in New Zealand. Four platforms are displayed, Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and LinkedIn, with the following percentage usage by month: January - Facebook 45%, Pinterest 25%, Twitter 15%, LinkedIn 10%; February - Facebook 43%, Pinterest 26%, Twitter 15%, LinkedIn 12%; March - Facebook 42%, Pinterest 25%, Twitter 15%, LinkedIn 13%; April - Facebook 40%, Pinterest 24%, Twitter 16%, LinkedIn 13%; May - Facebook 38%, Pinterest 23%, Twitter 17%, LinkedIn 12%; June - Facebook 37%, Pinterest 22%, Twitter 18%, LinkedIn 12%; July - Facebook 35%, Pinterest 22%, Twitter 19%, LinkedIn 12%; August - Facebook 33%, Pinterest 21%, Twitter 20%, LinkedIn 12%; September - Facebook 32%, Pinterest 21%, Twitter 19%, LinkedIn 13%; October - Facebook 33%, Pinterest 22%, Twitter 18%, LinkedIn 14%; November - Facebook 34%, Pinterest 23%, Twitter 17%, LinkedIn 13%; December - Facebook 36%, Pinterest 24%, Twitter 16%, LinkedIn 12%. Facebook has the highest usage every month, decreasing from January to August and increasing afterward, while LinkedIn has the lowest usage, moderately increasing from January to October and slightly decreasing toward December. Twitter and Pinterest usage fluctuate with a slight overall decrease for Pinterest and increase for Twitter.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The line graph compares the percentage of people using social media platforms such as Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and LinkedIn among 30-45 year olds in New Zealand in 2018.

Overall, what stands out from the graph is that the Facebook platform had the highest proportion of users; furthermore, it remained the largest sector. Conversely, Twitter did not provide a significant percentage and became the lowest. Meanwhile, Pinterest and LinkedIn had nearly the same proportion of users at the end of the period.

In detail, the proportion of people who used Facebook initially was the highest, constituting 45%, but despite a steady decrease in November, the percentage comprised 35% and it remained the largest platform. However, the Twitter platform fluctuated steadily, but starting at 5% and ending at almost 3% made it the lowest.

By contrast, in January, the LinkedIn platform roughly reached the same percentage as Facebook, but a subsequent drop until June comprised 15%. The percentage in January was three times as high as in June, and at the end of the span, the proportion reduced sharply to 10%. Meanwhile, Pinterest remained steady throughout the entire period, with a dramatic growth of almost 12%.

Word Count: 194

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 5

facebook: 4

platform: 4

proportion: 4

pinterest: 3

twitter: 3

linkedin: 3

remained: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the line graph, but it contains several inaccuracies and omissions that affect the clarity of the response. Key data points are misreported: for example, Twitter's usage is stated to start at 5% and end at 3%, whereas the graph shows 15% and 16% respectively. LinkedIn is said to have roughly the same percentage as Facebook in January, but the graph indicates 10% versus 45%. Pinterest is described as remaining steady with a dramatic growth of 12%, but the graph shows a slight overall decrease. These inaccuracies, along with the omission of specific monthly trends, detract from the task achievement. To improve, ensure that all data is accurately reported and that comparisons are based on the correct figures. Additionally, the overview should highlight the main trends more precisely, such as Facebook's overall decline and Twitter's slight increase.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, overall summary, and body paragraphs. However, there are some issues with logical flow and referencing. For example, the phrase 'despite a steady decrease in November' is confusing because the decrease occurs from January to August, not just in November. Additionally, the use of 'However' to introduce Twitter's trend is not entirely appropriate as it does not contrast with the previous information. The paragraphing is adequate but could be improved by grouping similar trends together. To enhance coherence, ensure that transition words accurately reflect the relationships between ideas and that time references are precise.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is varied and generally appropriate for the task, with terms like 'constituting', 'fluctuated', and 'subsequent drop'. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'remained the largest sector' (should be 'platform' or 'site') and 'comprised 35%' (should be 'was 35%' or 'comprised 35% of users'). The phrase 'dramatic growth of almost 12%' is misleading as it suggests an increase, but the data shows a decrease. To improve, focus on using precise and accurate vocabulary, especially when describing trends and percentages.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and varied clause types. However, there are some errors in tense and sentence construction. For instance, 'the percentage comprised 35%' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'the percentage was 35%' or 'the platform comprised 35% of users'. Also, 'starting at 5% and ending at almost 3% made it the lowest' is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity. Punctuation is generally correct, but some sentences are overly long and could be split for better readability. Overall, the grammar is strong but not error-free.

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