Line Graph

Band 4+: The line graph shows the changes i. Population size, birth rate and a thread overy period of 1700 to 2000. Summarise information by selecting and reporting me features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The line graph shows the changes i. Population size, birth rate and a thread overy period of 1700 to 2000. Summarise information by selecting and reporting me features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image is a graph with two y-axes, showing population size (in millions) on the left and birth and death rate (per 1,000 people) on the right, plotted across a timeline from 1700 to 2000 on the x-axis. Three lines represent population size (dashed), birth rate (dotted), and death rate (solid). Population size starts at approximately 5 million in 1700, rises to just over 10 million around 1750, drops below 10 million by 1800, then climbs steadily to reach 30 million by 1850, around 40 million by 1900, and exceeds 50 million by 2000. Birth rate begins at about 30 per 1,000 people in 1700, fluctuates between 30 to just over 40 until 1850 where it peaks close to 50, then steeply declines to below 20 by 2000. Death rate starts just above 40 per 1,000 people in 1700, peaks at around 45 by 1750, drops to 20 by 1800, rises back to around 30 by 1850, and then falls to below 10 by 2000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates changed ,namely the population size, birth rate and the death rate in England and Wales, between 1700 and 2000.

Overall, the number of population size stood at the lowest at the beginning, while it increased dramatically at the end of the survey. However, the figure for birth rate fluctuated over a period, while death rate gradually decreased at the final year.

At the beginning, the number of birth rate stood at 30 per in 1700. The figure for it increased significantly at 40 per in 1750, and remined relatively unchanged until 1800. The number of birth rate dropped substantially at around 22 per in 1950, before upward trent to 34 per in 2000. Similarly, the death rate followed a similar trend to the birth rate until 1900. After that, it decreased slightly to 20 per in 1950, and remained stable untül the end of the survey.

Finally, the figure for polulation size stood at about 3 per in 1700. And after that, it rose slowly to 10 per in 1750 and stayed stabil until 1800. The number of population size was upward trent, reaching 50 per in 200.

Word Count: 192

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

birth: 5

number: 4

population: 3

death: 3

stood: 3

figure: 3

until: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends in population size, birth rate, and death rate. However, there are several inaccuracies and omissions in the data, such as incorrect values for population size (e.g., '3 per' instead of '5 million') and birth rate (e.g., '22 per' instead of 'below 20'), and the final year is incorrectly stated as '200' instead of '2000'. The report also lacks a clear comparison between the trends, and some descriptions are vague or imprecise. To improve, ensure accurate data representation, use appropriate units (millions, per 1,000), and explicitly compare the trends, such as noting the inverse relationship between population growth and declining death rate.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction and an overview, but the body paragraphs lack logical organization and clear progression. The data is presented in a somewhat random order, and the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'Similarly' is used incorrectly). The final paragraph is very brief and does not effectively conclude the report. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a clear set of data (e.g., one paragraph for birth and death rates, another for population) and use a range of linking words and referencing to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with limited range. There are several errors in word choice and spelling (e.g., 'changed' instead of 'changes', 'remined' instead of 'remained', 'trent' instead of 'trend', 'polulation' instead of 'population', 'stabil' instead of 'stable'). The report also uses informal or incorrect phrases like 'stood at' repeatedly. To improve, use a wider range of precise vocabulary for describing trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined steadily', 'remained stable') and ensure correct spelling and word forms. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity, including incorrect verb forms, missing prepositions, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'The line graph illustrates changed' should be 'The line graph illustrates changes', and 'the number of population size' is redundant and incorrect. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. To improve, focus on using a variety of sentence structures accurately, and proofread to eliminate basic errors. Practice writing clear, grammatically correct sentences with appropriate use of past tense for describing historical data.

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