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Band 5+: The line graph shows the prison population in a European country between 1911 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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Image for topic: The line graph shows the prison population in a European country between 1911 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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The image includes two line graphs showing prison population numbers from 1911 to 2001 for males and females; the male graph starts at approximately 30,000 in 1911, with successive years showing 28,000 in 1921, a dip to 22,000 in 1931, recovery to 26,000 by 1941, stable at 25,000 in 1951, a rise to 30,000 in 1961, further climb to 32,000 in 1971, substantial jump to 40,000 in 1981, leveling off to 42,000 in 1991, ending at 47,000 in 2001; the female graph begins at 3,000 in 1911, a drop to 1,800 in 1921, further decline to 1,000 in 1931, slight rise to 1,100 in 1941, a decrease to 1,000 in 1951, steady at 1,000 in 1961, slight rise to 1,100 in 1971, increase to 1,300 by 1981, a jump to 2,000 in 1991, concluding at 2,100 in 2001.

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The line graph illustrates a prison’s population of men and women in Europe between 1911 and 2001. As the year go by, the male community quickly increase, while females went down drastically, but slowly went back up after 1941.

In 1911, the prison held 18.000 male prisoners, and stayed stable until 1921. It started going down to 10.000 men population in 1931. However, it started increasing again to 12.000 in 1941. In 1951 to 1971, the number stayed stable, around 19.000-20.000 male prisoners. It drastically increased to 38.000 in 1981 and 42.000 in 1991. By 2001, the number have already reached 45.000.

The female population started with 3.200 in 1911. It keeps going down, and eventually in 1941, the number reached 500. However, the number starts to go up slowly. In 1951, they held in about 900 female prisoners and 1.300 in 1961. It went back to 900 in 1971, but increased to 1.000 in 1981. By 1991, the number have shown 1.400 women prisoners and more than 1.500 by 2001.

Word Count: 171

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

number: 5

prisoners: 4

population: 3

started: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends for both male and female prison populations over the period. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data (e.g., male figures in 1911, 1931, 1941, and 2001; female figures in 1911, 1941, 1961, 1971, 1981, 1991, and 2001) and some omissions (e.g., the initial drop in male population in the 1920s and the later rise in female population after 1981). The overall structure is clear, but the report would benefit from more precise data and a more balanced comparison between the two groups. Additionally, ensure that the language is accurate (e.g., 'a prison's population' should be 'the prison population', 'As the year go by' should be 'As the years go by', and 'the number have' should be 'the number has').

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is organized into clear paragraphs for male and female data, and the progression over time is generally logical. However, the introduction lacks a clear overview, and the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and inconsistent tense usage. To improve, provide a concise summary of the main trends in the introduction, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and smooth transitions between time periods.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some appropriate terms like 'drastically increased' and 'stable.' However, there is repetition (e.g., 'went down,' 'go up') and some imprecise word choices (e.g., 'prison's population,' 'male community'). To enhance lexical resource, use a wider range of synonyms and more precise academic vocabulary, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' 'declined steadily,' and 'experienced a sharp rise.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and awkward structures that affect clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement ('As the year go by'), incorrect tense usage ('the number have already reached'), and missing articles or prepositions. To improve, review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, and practice using a variety of sentence structures with accurate punctuation.

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