Line Graph

Band 6+: The line graph shows the types of sports played in Hawaii from 1990 to 2010 a period of 20 years. Summarise the information by selecting and describing the main features making comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The line graph shows the types of sports played in Hawaii from 1990 to 2010 a period of 20 years. Summarise the information by selecting and describing the main features making comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays a line graph titled 'Types of Sports Popular in Hawaii', showing the 'Number of People Indulging in the Sport' for three sports over five-year intervals starting from 1990 to 2010. For Cricket, the number of people was 150 in 1990, 135 in 1995, 168 in 2000, 128 in 2005, and 115 in 2010. For Hockey, the numbers were 70 in 1990, 85 in 1995, 125 in 2000, 153 in 2005, and 168 in 2010. For Football, the numbers were 10 in 1990, 53 in 1995, 107 in 2000, 198 in 2005, and 198 in 2010.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph below illustrates types of sports popular in Hawaii between 1990 and 2010.

Overall, it is clear that hockey and football had a similar pattern increase throughout period, whereas cricket experinced decrease.

Looking at the details, cricket started with approximately 150 number of people indulging in the sport in 1990. This figure slightly decrease to 135 by 1995 and rose steadily around 168 in 2000 also ended up with decline gradually and reached roughly 115 by last year. However, hockey saw moderate growth, increasing from about 70 individuals to roughly 168 individuals over the same period. By contrast, football experienced a high graduall rise, moving from 10 humans in first year to 198 humans by 2005 and remained stable in 2010.

In comparison, football became the most popular types of sports by the end of the period. Meanwhile, hockey remained in second place throughout the years. Although cricket showed some improvement, consistently recorded the lowest number of people in Hawaii.

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

hockey: 3

football: 3

period: 3

cricket: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task, presenting the main trends and providing relevant data. The overview is clear, and the body paragraphs describe the changes in each sport over the period. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and a few areas where the description could be more precise. To improve, focus on using more accurate language when describing the data and ensure all key features are highlighted.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally coherent, but the flow could be improved with better use of cohesive devices. The organization into paragraphs is adequate, but transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from the overview to the detailed description of each sport could be more clearly signaled. Also, avoid abrupt changes in tense or perspective within the same paragraph.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. While words like 'approximately,' 'slightly,' 'steadily,' 'gradually,' and 'roughly' are used, consider incorporating a wider range of synonyms to describe trends and quantities. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'increase' or 'decrease,' try 'surge,' 'plummet,' 'ascend,' or 'decline.' Also, avoid using 'humans' when referring to people participating in sports; 'individuals' or 'participants' would be more appropriate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and article usage. For example, 'cricket experinced decrease' should be 'cricket experienced a decrease,' and '150 number of people' should be 'approximately 150 people'. Proofread carefully to eliminate these errors.

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