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Band 4+: The maps below show the changes that have occured in Grange Park from 1920 to today

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Image for topic: The maps below show the changes that have occured in Grange Park from 1920 to today

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The image shows a rectangular layout with Arnold Avenue at the top and Eldon Street at the bottom, featuring entrances on both streets; rose gardens and seats flank the top left and bottom left corners, as well as a top right rose garden and pond for water plants; a central fountain is depicted; a stage for musicians is positioned on the left side; a glasshouse is located on the right side.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The two maps compare the grange park in 1920 and present day

Overall,it is clear that in 1920,the grange park was accoutred with seets,fountain,stage for musicans and pond for water plants,while today.the grange park has been changed dramaticly,starting with addingamphitreatre and ending with removibg fauntain.

Additionally,the entrance hall has been left intact

In 1920,the stage for musicans was situated in west and two rose gardens were settled in over and under of stage for musicans.the faontain was settled in the center of grange park and rose garden and pond for water plants were situated in north east and glasshouse was situated in under of pond for water plants.the seats were situated betwden park

Today,amphitre for conserts has been added to west and for seats and rose garden have been renovated to place of fantan which has been removed.The cafe and children’s play are have been constructed to place of pond for water plans which has been removed and water feature has been added to warer feature.

Word Count: 166

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

water: 5

grange: 4

situated: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the task, describing some changes in Grange Park from 1920 to the present day. However, there are inaccuracies and omissions, such as not mentioning the entrances on Arnold Avenue and Eldon Street, and the rose gardens in the top right and bottom left corners. The writing also contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. To improve, focus on accurately describing all key features and changes shown in the maps, and ensure the language is clear and grammatically correct.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The overview is present but lacks detail and precision. The body paragraphs are somewhat disjointed, making it difficult to follow the changes described. Transitions between sentences and ideas are weak or missing, hindering the overall coherence. Paragraphing could be improved to better group related information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and sometimes inaccurate ('accoutred with seets'). There are instances of inappropriate word choice and imprecise language, which affects the clarity of the description. Expanding the range of vocabulary and using more precise terms would improve the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect preposition usage. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear, making it difficult to understand the intended meaning. Punctuation errors are also present. Improving grammatical accuracy and sentence construction is essential for a higher score.

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