Band 4+: The maps below show the changes that have occured in Grange Park from 1920 to today

The report addresses the task by describing the main changes in Grange Park, but it contains some inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, it mentions a 'Rond' (likely meaning 'pond') and states the fountain was in the middle, but the visual description indicates a central fountain, which is correct. However, the report omits the rose garden and seats in the bottom left and the top right rose garden and pond, and it inaccurately states that the rose gardens with seats were relocated to the middle. The description of the glasshouse being replaced by a water feature and underground is somewhat unclear and may not fully align with the visual. The report is generally on topic and covers several key changes, but the inaccuracies and omissions in key areas detract from task achievement. To improve, ensure all main features are described accurately and avoid vague or incorrect statements. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, but the flow is disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. For example, 'park' is used without an article, and the phrase 'as well park had a fountain' is awkward. The overview is somewhat vague and does not clearly summarize the main changes. To improve, use clear paragraphing (e.g., one paragraph for each time period or area) and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. Use cohesive devices such as 'in contrast', 'similarly', and 'while' to link ideas smoothly.

The vocabulary is adequate but limited, with some repetition (e.g., 'seats', 'rose garden') and imprecise word choices (e.g., 'Rond' instead of 'pond', 'substituted' instead of 'replaced'). There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary (e.g., 'amphitheater', 'water feature'), but it is not always accurate or natural. To improve, use a wider range of synonyms and precise terms (e.g., 'relocated', 'converted', 'demolished'). Avoid informal or incorrect terms and ensure collocations are correct (e.g., 'underground' is unclear; perhaps 'underground car park' or 'subway entrance').

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. Examples include missing articles ('the park'), incorrect verb tenses ('was replaced' vs. 'has been replaced'), and subject-verb agreement problems ('there was built' should be 'there has been built'). Sentence structures are often simple and repetitive, with some fragments. To improve, practice using a variety of complex structures (e.g., relative clauses, passive voice) and ensure subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. Proofread to correct punctuation and article usage.