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Band 5+: The maps show the changes that have taken place at an Australian Zoo between 1960 and now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The maps show the changes that have taken place at an Australian Zoo between 1960 and now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains two maps, one from 1960 and one from 'Now', both with a north-pointing arrow. The 1960 map shows a Harbour to the north, enclosures for African animals, Australian animals, Birds, and Chimpanzees, a Seal Show, a Gift Shop, and a Picnic Area, all connected by dotted paths. The 'Now' map shows a Harbour, a Ferry, and an Entrance in the north, a second Entrance in the southwest, enclosures for Wild animals, Australian animals, and African Animals, a Seal Show, a Gift Shop, a Picnic Area, and a Cable Car, also connected by paths.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The maps provided below depicts the variation made in Australian zoo from 1960 to current year.

Overall, the major change is observed in harbour where the location of port has moved from east to west direction despite this, new recreational activity are also constructed in recent years.

To begin with, the location of port has changed from 1960 to current time and nowadays, harbour is becoming busy with the ships. Meanwhile, two new entrances have been constructed apart from it many new ammenities have been build till the date such as cable car.

Moreover, there were some things which had not changed in the time period; for instance, picnic area, gift shop, seal show, and especially section of Australian animals. Although, some changes were made in animal species in which some of the animals were removed from zoos and new breed of animals were introduced in zoos as wild animals were replaced by birds and chimpanzees.

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

animals: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the main features and comparing the changes between the two maps. The overview is acceptable, and the body paragraphs discuss key changes and continuities. To improve, ensure that the description of changes is more specific and accurate, avoiding generalizations. For example, instead of saying 'some of the animals were removed from zoos,' specify which animal enclosures were removed or changed. Also, proofread carefully to eliminate grammatical errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction and overview are present, but the connection between sentences and paragraphs needs strengthening. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas and ensure a smoother transition between different points. For example, the relationship between the harbour changes and the new recreational activities could be more explicitly stated. Paragraphing is generally acceptable, but could be refined to better group related information.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise and natural. For example, 'variation made' could be improved. Expanding your vocabulary related to map descriptions and changes over time would enhance the report. Focus on using synonyms and avoiding repetitive language. While the vocabulary is generally appropriate, refining word choices will improve the overall impact.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors in grammar and sentence construction that affect clarity. Errors in verb tense, article usage, and sentence structure are present. For example, 'depicts the variation made' and 'new recreational activity are also constructed' contain grammatical errors. Focus on improving accuracy in basic grammar and sentence structure. Review and correct errors in tense agreement, subject-verb agreement, and article usage to enhance the clarity and precision of your writing.

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