Bar Chart

Band 4+: The percentage of internet users who shopped online in Australia by age group 2007-2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The percentage of internet users who shopped online in Australia by age group 2007-2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows internet users who shopped online in Australia by age group for the years 2007 and 2009, with data as follows: Age group 15-25: 2007 at 20%, 2009 at 30%; Age group 26-35: 2007 at 30%, 2009 at 40%; Age group 36-45: 2007 at 35%, 2009 at 45%; Age group 46-55: 2007 at 25%, 2009 at 40%; Age group 56-65: 2007 at 15%, 2009 at 20%; Age group 65+: 2007 at 5%, 2009 at 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar char shows information about internet uses was shopped online in Australia by age groups.

Overall, it is clear that the years 2009 had considerably higher age group in 36-45 over the period, Moreover it saw lower figure in 65+. In addition, while the internet uses of people in 2007 were the almost double the percentage of shopping online have the second popular, it is experinced to the largest shares.

In terms of 36-45 age groups, the percentage of people in 2009 saw the higest participation figure, reaching under just 38%, and then decreased significantly from 38% to 32% in the following 26-35. Additionally, this figure followed by the percentage of internet uses in 15-25 was only 23%. However, the proportion of 65+ age groups had lower figures, at 12.

With regard to the years 2007, it started with 20% in the begining years, and this figure experienced a significant grow, with 31% and then declined from 31% to 21% in 46-55. It is expected to continue falling to approximately 6% in the final years.

Word Count: 176

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

years: 4

figure: 4

internet: 3

percentage: 3

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Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The description is confusing and lacks clear comparisons between the years and age groups. Key points are often irrelevant or inaccurate, detracting from the overall task achievement. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, making clear comparisons, and using precise language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report suffers from significant issues in coherence and cohesion. The organization of information is unclear, and the transitions between sentences and ideas are often abrupt. Paragraphing is not effectively managed, leading to a lack of flow. To improve, focus on structuring your report with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and using cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link ideas together smoothly. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data and that the overall report follows a logical progression.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies in word choice. There is a reliance on basic vocabulary, and more sophisticated or precise language could be used to describe the data more effectively. To enhance your lexical resource, try to incorporate synonyms and more specific terms related to trends and data analysis. Pay attention to the correct usage of vocabulary in context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and errors in punctuation. The sentence structure is often awkward and unclear, making it difficult to understand the intended meaning. To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Proofread your work carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting it.

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