Process Diagram

Band 6+: The picture below shows the life cycle of the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The picture below shows the life cycle of the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image illustrates the salmon life cycle starting with salmon eggs in an upper slow-moving river environment with reeds and small stones, lasting approximately 5-6 months; fry measuring 3-8 cm continue in the river before migrating to a fast-flowing lower river or estuary for approximately 4 years, during which they develop into smolts measuring 12-15 cm; finally, they grow into adult salmon between 70-76 cm, residing in the open sea for about 5 years.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The given diagram illustrates the life cycles of the salmon. It is interesting to see that the salmon lives in both fresh water as well as sea water.

The salmon lays its egg in the upper river where the water is quite slow-moving. The spawn rests in the cover of reeds and small stones for 5-6 months, after which the eggs hatch into “fry” which are “3-8” cm in length. These “fry” live in the lower fast flowing river or estuary for the next 4 years approximately.Here the “fry” grow bigger and are now called “smolt”, which are 12-15 cm in length. The open sea, which is their home roughl. Eventually, the salmon attains its full size of 70-76 cm in the oecan. After about 5 years, the salmon swims back to its birth place to lay its eggs and die.

Overall, the salmon passes through three distinct stagest the ‘fry’, the ‘smolt’ and the adult salmon. The first two stages are in fresh water and the last stage is in saline water. No wonder the salmon is called the super fish, as it lives in both – fresh and saline water.

Word Count: 192

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

salmon: 8

water: 5

which: 4

fresh: 3

"fry": 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively covers all the main stages of the salmon life cycle, including the specific durations and size measurements provided in the description. The overview is clear and identifies the key transition between fresh and salt water. To improve, ensure that the progression of stages is logically organized; while the report is very good, the concluding remarks contain some informal language (e.g., 'No wonder the salmon is called the super fish') which should be avoided in academic writing to maintain a professional tone. Additionally, there are a few minor typographical errors that do not impede communication but should be corrected.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical chronological order, which is appropriate for a life cycle diagram. However, the cohesion is somewhat disrupted by abrupt sentence endings and incomplete thoughts (e.g., 'The open sea, which is their home roughl.'). To improve, ensure that every sentence is grammatically complete and use a wider variety of cohesive devices (such as 'Following this,' 'Subsequently,' or 'Once they reach this stage') to link the stages of the life cycle more smoothly. The paragraphing is functional but could be more sophisticated by separating the introduction, the detailed process, and the overview more clearly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for the task, and you have correctly identified the specific terms provided in the prompt (fry, smolt, etc.). However, there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'roughl', 'oecan', 'stagest') and some repetitive phrasing. Additionally, the concluding sentence ('No wonder the salmon is called the super fish...') is too informal and subjective for an academic report. Aim for a more objective, academic tone and focus on precision in spelling to reach higher bands. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are significant grammatical issues that affect the flow of the report. Most notably, there is a fragmented sentence ('The open sea, which is their home roughl.') that lacks a main verb, and some issues with subject-verb agreement and punctuation. While you attempt a variety of structures, the errors in sentence construction are frequent enough to distract the reader. To improve, practice constructing complex sentences using relative clauses correctly and ensure that every sentence has a clear subject and predicate.

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