Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie chart below show the percentage distribution of the houshold expenditure in a country in 2010 and 2020.

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The image contains two pie charts detailing the percentage distribution of household expenditure in a country for 2010 and 2020. For 2010, the percentages were: Housing 24%, Food 18%, Transport 14%, Healthcare 8%, Education 10%, Entertainment 7%, Clothing 6%, and Others 13%. For 2020, the figures were: Housing 22%, Food 16%, Transport 17%, Healthcare 9%, Education 12%, Entertainment 8%, Clothing 5%, and Others 11%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given pie charts show the information about the percentage distribution of household expenditure in a country in 2010 and 2020.

Overall, it is clear that expenses in a country are very common. To be specific, housing accounts for a significant share in total expenditure in a country. While categories also contribute in total expenditure.

To begin with, Houseing was the most common, and the highest expenses accounted for 24 % in 2010. It remained in first place. Whereas, the food represented 18% of overall expenses. “Others” and transport almost made up 13 to 14 % , which is good. In addition, the least significant was clothing and entertainment accounted percentage approximately 6 and 7 %. It remained at least popular category.

Another notable trend is that, in 2020 housing declined and made up 22 %. Moreover, the “food” and “others” category also decreased and remained steady 11% and 16%. Transport gradually increased and made up proportion around 17% . While, healthcare and education slightly increased their share by 9% and 12% overall the entire year.

Word Count: 176

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

country: 3

expenses: 3

remained: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains some irrelevant or inaccurate information. The overview is very general and doesn't highlight key trends effectively. The body paragraphs present some data accurately but lack specific comparisons and details. To improve, focus on providing a more analytical overview, using precise data to support your points, and making direct comparisons between the two years.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the overall coherence is weak. The 'overall' statement is vague and doesn't provide a clear overview of the trends. Transitions between paragraphs and sentences are not always smooth, making it difficult to follow the line of reasoning. For instance, the connection between the second and third paragraphs is unclear. Improve coherence by providing a more specific overview in the introduction and using clearer transitions between ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Some phrases are repetitive (e.g., 'in a country,' 'total expenditure'). Consider using synonyms and more specific vocabulary to describe the data. For example, instead of 'made up proportion around 17%,' you could say 'constituted approximately 17%.' Expanding your range of vocabulary will enhance the clarity and sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with article usage ('Houseing was the most common'), verb tense ('expenses in a country are very common'), and sentence structure. While a variety of sentence structures are attempted, errors in punctuation and grammar impede understanding. Focus on improving accuracy by proofreading carefully and reviewing basic grammar rules. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and appropriate article usage.

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