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Band 6+: The pie chart below show the percentage of volunteers by organizations in the years 2008 and 2014.

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The image displays two pie charts on the percentage of volunteers by organisations for 2008 and 2014. In 2008, the percentages were: Environmental 21%, Art 18%, Sport 15%, Health Care 7%, Educational 24%, and Others 15%. In 2014, the distribution was: Environmental 29%, Art 12%, Sport 25%, Health Care 8%, Educational 17%, and Others 9%.

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The given pie charts compare the percentage of people attended in some organizations in 2008 and 2014.

Overall, it is evident that, environmental organizations showed the highest proportion in both year 2008 and 2014, while health care organizations include the lowest percentage of volunteers in both years.

In 2008 year, 21% of volunteers were joint in environmental organizations compared to 2014, when 29% of people were attended to environmental organizations. By contrast, the percentage of volunteers attended in health care increased by 1% percentage by 2014, while sport organizations included only 15% of volunteers in 2008. In contrast, 25% of people was joint in sports in 2014.

Additionally, art and other organizations accounted for 18% and 15% in 2008 respectively, the figures were 9% for other and 12% for art in 2014. Educational organizations represented 24% of volunteers in 2008, and only 17% of volunteer for 2014.

Word Count: 147

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

organizations: 8

volunteers: 5

percentage: 4

people: 3

attended: 3

environmental: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by comparing the two pie charts and highlighting key trends. The overall trend is correctly identified, and most data is presented accurately. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and omissions, such as stating that environmental organizations had the highest proportion in both years (which is true for 2014 but not for 2008, where educational was highest). Additionally, the phrasing could be more precise and varied, and some grammatical errors are present. To improve, ensure that all key features are accurately described and that the language is more formal and precise. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. For example, 'In 2008 year' is redundant, and 'compared to 2014' could be more smoothly integrated. The use of 'By contrast' and 'In contrast' is repetitive and not always logically applied. Paragraphing is acceptable but could be improved by grouping related data more coherently. To enhance coherence, use a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some attempts at variation (e.g., 'accounted for', 'represented', 'included'). However, there are several inaccuracies and awkward choices: 'people attended in' should be 'volunteers involved in' or 'people who volunteered for'; 'joint' should be 'joined'; 'percentage by 2014' is unclear. The range of vocabulary is limited, and some terms are repeated (e.g., 'percentage', 'volunteers'). To improve, use more precise and varied vocabulary, such as 'comprised', 'constituted', 'experienced an increase', and ensure correct collocations.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include: 'people attended in' (incorrect preposition), 'was joint' (wrong verb form), 'increased by 1% percentage' (redundant), and '25% of people was joint' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is mostly correct, but some sentences are run-ons or awkwardly constructed. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct verb forms, and precise use of prepositions. Also, vary sentence structures to show greater grammatical range.

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