Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie chart below show the resources that students from Oakley University and Newburry University frequently use for their research

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The image contains two pie charts showing the resources that students from Oakley University and Newbury University frequently use for their research. At Oakley University, the usage is as follows: Online materials 42%, School lessons 14%, Textbooks 32%, and Others 12%. At Newbury University, the usage is: Online materials 53%, School lessons 13%, Textbooks 22%, and Others 12%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart compares the percentage of the resources that students from Oakley University and Newburry University often use for their research.

Overall, it is clear that both university mostly use online meterials. Moreover, both university have the lowest proportian at the others and school lessons resources.

Turning to the first chart, we can observe that the most popular resources of information it is online materials at 43% of the total chart. By the contrast, the others and school lessons resources were at 12% and 14% respectively. The textbooks comes as the second most popular resources accounded for 32%.

Taking a closer look at the second chart, we can see that at the Newburry University, the majority number of students use online resources, which 52% slightly more then the Oakley University. The others and school lessons resources were at 12% and 13% respectively, while the proportion of textbooks resources accounded for 22%.

Word Count: 152

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

resources: 7

university: 6

chart: 4

online: 3

others: 3

school: 3

lessons: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task and provides a generally clear overview of the data. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and a few areas where the description could be more precise. To improve, ensure that all data points are accurately represented and consider using comparative language more effectively to highlight the key differences and similarities between the two universities.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction and overall statement are present, but the body paragraphs lack clear transitions and connections between ideas. Consider using more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs, creating a smoother and more logical progression of information. For example, use transition words like 'similarly,' 'in contrast,' or 'furthermore' to clarify the relationships between different data points and universities.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate but lacks sophistication. There is some repetition of words like 'resources' and 'university.' Try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more precise language to describe the data. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'resources,' consider using terms like 'materials,' 'sources,' or 'references' depending on the context. Also, aim for more descriptive adjectives and adverbs to enhance the impact of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common issues include incorrect verb tenses ('both university mostly use'), subject-verb agreement problems, and awkward phrasing ('the others and school lessons resources were at'). Pay close attention to sentence structure and ensure that your grammar is accurate. Proofread carefully to identify and correct these errors. Focus on using a variety of sentence structures to improve the overall quality of your writing.

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