Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie chart presents the ways X university and Y university distributed their budget for the school year 2000-2001. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The pie chart presents the ways X university and Y university distributed their budget for the school year 2000-2001. Write at least 150 words.

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The image depicts two pie charts representing X University's and Y University's budget distribution for the 2000-2001 school year. X University allocated 30% for books, 25% for salaries of teachers, 20% for training for teachers, and 25% for new facilities. Y University allocated 25% for books, 25% for salaries of teachers, 20% for training for teachers, and 30% for new facilities.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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On both pie chart it’s a comparison between two university’s budget in 2000-2001. Overall, there are some differences between books and the new facilities budget on both universities.

In X university, the new facilites and salaries of teacher each of them weighs a quarter percentage. But on training for teacher it shows that it is one fifth percentage. Lastly, on the books budget it is around 30 percentage. The difference with both universities are on the books and new facilities budget. Inside the book’s budget difference theres a decrease of five percentage from university X. But on the new facilities budget theres an increase of five percentage.

In conclusion there are some budget that has the same percentage excluding the new facilities budget also the book’s budget.

Word Count: 127

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

budget: 9

percentage: 5

facilities: 4

books: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key features of the pie charts, such as the differences in budget allocation for books and new facilities between the two universities. However, the description lacks detail and precision. The report also contains some inaccuracies and could benefit from a clearer structure and more sophisticated language. To improve, focus on providing more specific data and using a wider range of vocabulary to describe the information. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not well-connected, and the paragraphing is weak. The 'overall' statement is vague and doesn't provide a strong sense of the main comparisons. The transitions between sentences and ideas need improvement to enhance readability. For example, the shift from discussing X University's budget to highlighting differences between the universities is abrupt. Consider using more cohesive devices and structuring the report with a clearer introduction, body paragraphs focusing on specific comparisons, and a more comprehensive conclusion.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There is repetition of words like 'budget' and 'percentage.' The phrase 'weighs a quarter percentage' is not accurate. To improve, use a wider range of vocabulary to describe the data and relationships between the categories. For example, instead of 'weighs a quarter percentage,' you could say 'constitutes 25 percent.' Also, try to use synonyms to avoid repetition and demonstrate a broader lexical range.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors that impede understanding. Errors include incorrect verb forms ('it's a comparison'), incorrect use of articles ('on both pie chart'), and awkward phrasing ('difference with both universities are'). Sentence structure is also simplistic and lacks variety. To improve, focus on using correct grammar and sentence structures. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors. Practice using a wider range of grammatical structures to express complex ideas more effectively.

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