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Band 4+: The pie chart show the percentage of male and female workers in country A and country B

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The image displays pie charts with percentages for male and female workers in two countries. In Country A, male workers: Services 33%, Agriculture 29%, Industry 18%, unspecified 20%; female workers: Services 19%, Agriculture 63%, Industry 3%, unspecified 15%. In Country B, male workers: Services 21%, Agriculture 52%, Industry 32%, unspecified -5%; female workers: Services 11%, Agriculture 79%, Industry 4%, unspecified 6%.

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The pie charts illustrate the proportion of male and female workers in country A and country B.

Overall, it can be clearly seen that in country A the percentage of male and female worker are higher in services, while lower in industry. In addition, the proportion of male and female employees are higher in services, whereas lower in the agriculture.

In detail, the proportion of male worker in countary are 56% in services, followed by agriculture wach is 29%, then it decreased to 15% in industry. The percentage of female worker are 49% in services, followed by agriculture which is 43%. Next the percentage of women worker are 85 in industry.

The percentage of men employees in countary B are higher in services which is 65%, followed by industry it’s percentage is 32%, after that it proportion further decrease to 3% in agriculture. The percentage of women in countary B are higher in services 49%, followed by industry which is 11%. Lastly, the percentage of female in agriculture was 1%.

Word Count: 170

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 7

services: 6

female: 5

proportion: 4

worker: 4

higher: 4

industry: 4

followed: 4

agriculture: 4

country: 3

countary: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by describing the pie charts for male and female workers in two countries. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data presented, such as misreporting percentages for services, agriculture, and industry in both countries. The overall trends described are also inconsistent with the visual information. Additionally, the report contains spelling errors (e.g., 'countary' instead of 'country') and unclear phrasing. To improve, focus on accurately extracting and reporting the key data points from the charts, and ensure that the overall summary correctly reflects the main trends, such as the dominance of agriculture for female workers in both countries.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report attempts to structure the information by providing an overview and then detailing each country, but the flow is disrupted by unclear references and inconsistent data presentation. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, making it difficult to follow the comparison between male and female workers across the two countries. To improve, focus on using a clear and logical structure, such as describing one country's data fully before moving to the next, or comparing sectors directly. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly', 'while') to guide the reader smoothly through the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with limited range (e.g., 'higher', 'lower', 'followed by'). There are also errors in word choice and form (e.g., 'wach' instead of 'which', 'countary' instead of 'country', 'women worker' instead of 'female workers'). To improve, learn and use a wider variety of topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'accounted for', 'represented', 'the majority', 'a minority', 'the figure for'). Pay attention to correct spelling and word forms to enhance lexical accuracy. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains frequent grammatical errors that affect clarity, including subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'the percentage... are'), incorrect verb forms, and missing articles. Sentence structures are often simple and repetitive, with limited use of complex sentences. To improve, practice using a mix of simple and complex sentence structures accurately. Focus on correcting basic grammar issues such as subject-verb agreement, plural forms, and the correct use of articles ('a', 'an', 'the'). Proofreading carefully can help reduce these errors.

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