Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie chart shows the online sales for retail sectors in Canada in the years 2005 and 2010.

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The image presents two pie charts displaying online sales percentages for retail sectors in Canada for 2005 and 2010. In 2005, the distribution is Electronics & Appliances 35%, Food & Beverage 22%, Home Furnishings 25%, Video Games 18%. In 2010, the distribution shifts to Electronics & Appliances 30%, Food & Beverage 32%, Home Furnishings 15%, Video Games 23%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given pie chart illustrates the changes of online sales for retail sectors across four sectors such as Electronics & Appliances,Home Furnishings,Food & Beverage, and Video Games in Canada, between 2005 and 2010.

Overall it is clearly evident that, whileElectronics & Appliances and Home Furnishings experienced decline market share during five year period, the Food & Beverage, and Video Games sector saw increased favour in retail sector.

According to the pie chart,the share of Electronics & Appliances decreased moderately from 35% to 30%,what about Home Furnishings observed largely decline, which saw substantial drop with started with 25% and ended with 15%.

Meanwhile, others sector shows improvement. The Food & Beverage depict rapid rise with, growing from 22% in 2005 and ended with the most popular sector in 2010 with 32% . Similarly,Video games sector also saw go up,with represents steady uplift with started 18% and finished the period at 23%.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

&: 6

sector: 4

beverage: 3

games: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task and provides a generally clear overview of the data. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and a few areas where the language could be more precise. To improve, focus on using more accurate language to describe the changes and ensure that all data points are correctly represented.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow is disrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Paragraphing is present but could be improved to enhance clarity. Consider using more precise transition words and phrases to connect ideas and ensure a smoother reading experience.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and sophistication. The report relies on simpler terms and could benefit from incorporating more precise and nuanced language to describe the trends and changes observed in the pie charts. For example, instead of 'decline market share,' consider using 'decreased market share' or 'reduced proportion of sales.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impact the clarity and accuracy of the information presented. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules, and proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your work.

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