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Band 5+: The pie chart shows the the expenditure of the people of a country on different activities in 2000 and 2010. Summarize information by slelting and reporting the mein features and comparison where relevant.

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The image presents two pie charts detailing expenditure percentages for unspecified activities in two separate years; for 2010 the breakdown is Traveling 35%, Education 20%, Restaurants and Hotels 17%, Footwear and Clothing 13%, Health 15%, whereas for 2000 it is Traveling 33%, Education 18%, Restaurants and Hotels 26%, Footwear and Clothing 12%, Health 11%.

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The pie charts compare the change in percentage of expenditure of the people on five different categories in 2000 and 2010.

Overall, it can be clearly seen that apart from education, over the years, a growth in the percentage of expenditure can be observed in all other sectors. Whereas, the health sector remained as an exceptional case, with a constant percentage of expenditure.

In 2000, the highest percentage of money was spend on education, which was 34 percent, but these figures dropped significantly to just 20 percent by 2010. After education, the travelling was the second most interested activity on which 25 percent of the expenditure were made, which continues to grow reaching 35 percent by the end of 2010.

Meanwhile, the restaurants and hotels had recorded a 1 percent rise in the expenses made by people over the timeline. Similarly, the footwear and clothing had observed a 3 percent increase, from 10 percent in 2000 to 13 percent in 2010. The health sector remains unaffected throughout the period, maintaining a constant percentage of expenditure by people at 15 percent.

Word Count: 180

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percent: 9

percentage: 5

expenditure: 4

people: 3

education: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by comparing expenditure across categories and years, but it contains several inaccuracies and inconsistencies. The overall trend is misstated: it claims growth in all sectors except education, yet later notes a rise in restaurants/hotels and footwear/clothing, which is correct, but the health sector is incorrectly described as constant when it actually increased from 11% to 15%. Key data points are wrong: education is given as 34% (should be 18% in 2000), traveling as 25% (should be 33% in 2000), and footwear/clothing as 10% (should be 12% in 2000). These errors detract from the task achievement. To improve, ensure accurate data extraction, clearly state the main trends (e.g., traveling remained highest, restaurants/hotels decreased, others increased), and avoid contradictory statements. Focus on presenting a clear overview and accurate comparisons.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph. However, the organization of information within the body could be improved for better logical flow. The overview mentions 'all other sectors' growing, but the data for restaurants and hotels shows a decrease, which is a coherence issue. Also, the paragraphing is not ideal; the body is a single paragraph that could be split into two for better clarity. To improve, ensure the overview accurately reflects the main trends, and use clear paragraphing to separate different groups of data (e.g., one paragraph for increases, another for decreases).

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary for describing trends (e.g., 'dropped significantly', 'continues to grow', 'recorded a rise', 'observed a 3 percent increase'). However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'the travelling was the second most interested activity' (should be 'traveling was the second most popular activity' or 'the second highest expenditure'), and 'the expenses made by people' (more natural: 'people's expenditure'). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, with repetition of 'expenditure' and 'percentage'. To improve, use a wider range of synonyms (e.g., 'spending', 'proportion', 'share') and more precise language for describing changes (e.g., 'rose', 'fell', 'remained stable').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'the highest percentage of money was spend' should be 'was spent'; 'the travelling was the second most interested activity' is grammatically incorrect; 'the expenditure were made' should be 'expenditure was made'; and 'the health sector remains unaffected' should be 'remained unaffected' to maintain past tense consistency. There are also issues with articles and prepositions (e.g., 'the travelling' should be 'traveling', 'over the timeline' is awkward). The range of sentence structures is limited, with many simple sentences. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct verb tenses, and use a mix of complex and compound sentences to demonstrate grammatical flexibility.

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