Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie charts below show the percentage of pop music enthusiasts according to age in 2018 and 2021. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains two pie charts depicting percentage of pop music enthusiasts in 2018 and 2021; 2018 chart: 15-18 years 37%, 19-25 years 28%, 26-34 years 21%, 35-55 years 11%, 56 and older 3%; 2021 chart: 15-18 years 31%, 19-25 years 21%, 26-34 years 25%, 35-55 years 16%, 56 and older 7%.

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The pie charts underneath illustrates the poportion of pop music enthusiasts according to age in 2018 to 2021.

In 2018 , it can be seen that the highest portion of teenagers involve themselfe in pop music the portion is at 37% on the other hand next large proportion shere the age between 19-25 years old is about 25%.The elderly also into the chart they shere the least portion is at 3% and 33-55 years individuals and 23-32 years people shere the flatuation number 11% and 21% respectively.

In 2021 , teenagers groups remain the top level this time they lost some proportion compere to previous days the portion is at 31% .Next position has changed now 25-34 years peoples remain the seconed highest positon 25%.

Word Count: 125

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

portion: 4

years: 4

shere: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key features and makes some comparisons, but it includes some inaccuracies and omissions. The writing could be more precise and organized. For example, the second largest proportion in 2018 is not 25% but 28%. Also, the report does not mention all the categories in 2021. To improve, ensure all data is accurately represented and all categories are mentioned. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and transitions between ideas. The sentences are not well-connected, making it difficult to follow the flow of information. Paragraphing could be improved to group related ideas together. Use cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs for better readability.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of synonyms or more precise language to describe the data. Expand your vocabulary related to proportions, age groups, and trends to enhance the report's clarity and sophistication. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms, subject-verb agreement issues, and punctuation mistakes. These errors significantly impact the clarity and accuracy of the report. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules.

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