Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie charts below show the percentage of pop music enthusiasts according to age in 2018 and 2021. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains two pie charts depicting percentage of pop music enthusiasts in 2018 and 2021; 2018 chart: 15-18 years 37%, 19-25 years 28%, 26-34 years 21%, 35-55 years 11%, 56 and older 3%; 2021 chart: 15-18 years 31%, 19-25 years 21%, 26-34 years 25%, 35-55 years 16%, 56 and older 7%.

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The given pie chart illustrate the proportion of the people who listen to pop music in 2018 and 2021.

Overall,age group 15-18 were the largest group of fan to enjoy pop music in both year. Likewise, 56 and older age was the least to listen such type of music

15-18year age group fans accounted for 37% in 2018 and the figure had a sight slight decline in 2021 by6%. The percentage of pop music enthusiasts of age 19-25 was 28%in 2018 and it fell by 7%in 2021.

At the beginning of the period age category 26-34 was 24%, it remained relatively unchanged with slight increase by1% in2021. Fans between age group 35-55 was 11% in2018 and it increased by5% in 2021. Likewise 55 and older were the lowest pop music fan group at 3% and 7% respectively in 2018 and 2021

Word Count: 141

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

group: 5

music: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes the main features of the pie charts and makes relevant comparisons between the two years. The overall trends and key data points are well-identified. To improve, ensure that all percentages mentioned are completely accurate and pay close attention to grammar and word choice for clarity. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a reasonable overview and identifies some key trends. However, the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider grouping similar trends together and using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, you could dedicate a paragraph to age groups that showed a decrease in pop music enthusiasm and another to those that increased. Also, avoid starting sentences with numerical data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'percentage,' you could use synonyms like 'proportion' or 'share.' Also, 'sight slight decline' is not accurate. Aim for more precise language to describe changes and trends. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tense ('illustrate' should be 'illustrates'), subject-verb agreement ('age group 15-18 were' should be 'was'), and incorrect preposition use ('fell by 7%in 2021' should be 'fell by 7% in 2021'). Pay close attention to these areas and proofread carefully to improve accuracy. Also, avoid run-on sentences.

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