Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie charts below show the proportion of job postings for Software Engineers, Sales Associates and Teachers in 1995 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The pie charts below show the proportion of job postings for Software Engineers, Sales Associates and Teachers in 1995 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image showcases two pie charts comparing data from 1995 and 2020. In 1995, the chart features the numerical values: Software Engineers (15), Sales Associates (40), and Teachers (45). The 2020 chart displays: Software Engineers (30), Sales Associates (40), and Teachers (30).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given pie charts depict the proportion of job postings for Software Engineers, Sales Associates and Teachers in 1995 and 2020.

Overall,it can be seen that teachers and sales associates were the most popular career in 1995,where as software engineers is the lowest porportion in that times.The time change,due to the development in teachnology and innovation,After 25 years, software engineer was the highest proportion among three careers.

In 1995, sales associates led the way at 45 percent of total.Similarly,the second highest rank was teachers with 40 percent.Software Engineer showed the lowest proportion at just 15 percent.

In contrast,There was a rapid surge in software engineer from 1995 to 2020, growing from just 15 percent to 40 percent by 2020.while the proportion of teachers and sales associates were dropped by 30% in the exact same porportion.

Word Count: 135

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

proportion: 4

software: 4

sales: 4

associates: 4

teachers: 4

engineer: 3

percent: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and makes relevant comparisons between the two years. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., the percentages in 1995 and the drop in teachers/sales associates). To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and pay close attention to detail when transferring information from the visual to the written report. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by grammatical errors and unclear phrasing. Transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother. For example, the overall statement is not very clear, and the connection between the changes over time could be more explicitly stated. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall readability.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. For instance, using more specific terms related to proportions and changes could enhance the report. While the vocabulary is adequate, expanding the range could lead to a more sophisticated and nuanced description of the data.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common issues include incorrect verb tense, subject-verb agreement problems, and misuse of articles and prepositions. For example, 'where as' should be 'whereas,' and there are inconsistencies in the use of singular and plural forms. Proofreading carefully and focusing on basic grammar rules would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.

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