Pie Chart

Band 4+: the pie charts compare people travel to a university for work or study by different vehicles

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The image contains two pie charts detailing methods of transportation for people travelling to one university for work or study in the UK for 2004 and 2009. In 2004, the methods were Car at 51%, Bus at 33%, Bicycle at 9%, Walking at 4%, and Train at 3%. In 2009, the methods were Bus at 46%, Car at 28%, Bicycle at 16%, Walking at 6%, and Train at 4%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts compare methods of transportation for people travelling to one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009 in the UK.

Overall, the most used vehicle throughout the period shown was bus, while the least percentage of travellers prefered trains.

In 2004, 33% of poeple used bus for travelling, bicycle users were 9%, 3% prefered train, while around 51% travelled by car, therefore, 4% of people walked to university for stuty or job.

In 2009, percentage of bus travellers increased sharply to 49%, also percentage of bicycle users rose to 16%, train travellers slightly rose to 4%, while the percentage of car drivers decreased to 28%, therefore the percentage of people who prefered walking increased to 8%.

Word Count: 120

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 5

people: 3

while: 3

travellers: 3

prefered: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies in the data presented. For example, the percentage of bus travellers in 2009 is stated as 49%, while the visual description indicates 46%. Also, the overall trends are not clearly articulated. To improve, ensure data accuracy and provide a clearer overview of the main trends and changes between the two years. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the information in a generally understandable manner, but the organization could be improved. The 'Overall' statement is a good start, but the subsequent paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions. Consider grouping similar trends together (e.g., increases vs. decreases) to improve flow. The use of 'therefore' seems misplaced in some sentences, disrupting the logical connection between ideas. Paragraphing could be more effective to separate the descriptions of each year.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Using phrases like 'percentage of bus travellers increased sharply' is acceptable, but exploring synonyms or more descriptive language would enhance the report. For instance, instead of 'rose,' consider 'increased significantly' or 'saw a marked increase.' Also, avoid repeating 'percentage of people' too often; vary the sentence structure.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency (e.g., mixing past and present tense), subject-verb agreement ('percentage of bus travellers increased'), and article usage. Sentence structure is also somewhat basic, limiting the complexity of the information conveyed. For example, the sentence 'In 2004, 33% of poeple used bus for travelling...' contains multiple errors. Proofreading carefully and focusing on basic grammar rules would significantly improve accuracy.

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