Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie charts show accommodation choices for holidays according to different age groups in Australia in 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The pie charts show accommodation choices for holidays according to different age groups in Australia in 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents three pie charts. For 24 to 32 years old: Hotel 22%, Holiday Cottage 17%, Cabin 10%, Resort 13%, Apartment 39%; for 33 to 45 years old: Hotel 36%, Holiday Cottage 17%, Cabin 10%, Resort 9%, Apartment 28%; for 46 years old and older: Hotel 48%, Holiday Cottage 8%, Cabin 4%, Resort 35%, Apartment 5%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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the chart above shows us accommodation choices, judging by individuals age range.

Younger individuals at age of 24 and 32 stop their decision on apartments, since 39 percent of young generation spend their holidays there. Then we can notice that 22 percentage favor hotels. Least favorable choices are holiday cottages, resorts and cabins, with the numbers of 16, 13 and 10 percent.

The next two charts demonstrate an older population of the world and their choice. Hotels are more popular among people at age of 33 to 45, same as elders aged 46 or older with numbers of 34 and 47 percent. Both age categories land their eyes on resorts as well, with a percentage of 37 and 35.

After that their opinion divides, since 33-45 years old category, especialli 17 percent of them chooses to spend their holidays in an apartment, while a very small number of them choose holiday cottages and cabins. Elder generation have the same decisions, their percentage swaying in 5 and 4.

Word Count: 167

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 7

percent: 3

percentage: 3

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Task Response

The report identifies some key trends in the data, such as the popularity of apartments among younger people and hotels among older people. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., '16 percent' instead of '17 percent' for holiday cottages in the first age group, '34 and 47 percent' instead of '36 and 48 percent' for hotel popularity in the older age groups, and '37 percent' for resorts in the 33-45 age group when it's actually 9 percent). The organization could be improved by grouping similar age categories together for comparison. To improve, focus on accurately reporting the data and organizing the information more effectively to highlight key comparisons.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas could be smoother. The introduction is basic. Paragraphing is present but could be more effective in grouping related information. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, affecting the flow of the report. For instance, the shift from the first to the second paragraph could be more seamless. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas and improve the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary, but there are instances where the word choice could be more precise and sophisticated. For example, phrases like 'stop their decision on apartments' and 'land their eyes on resorts' are not the most natural or accurate ways to describe the data. While the vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, improving the precision and sophistication of word choice would enhance the overall quality of the report. Explore synonyms and alternative expressions to convey the information more effectively.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. There are errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, 'the chart above shows us accommodation choices' could be improved to 'the pie charts illustrate accommodation choices'. Also, 'with the numbers of 16, 13 and 10 percent' is grammatically awkward. While the report conveys the main points, addressing these grammatical errors would significantly improve its accuracy and readability. Proofread carefully and focus on using a variety of sentence structures correctly.

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