Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie graphs below show the online shopping sales for retail in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

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Image for topic: The pie graphs below show the online shopping sales for retail in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

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The image displays two pie charts comparing online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand for the years 2003 and 2013. In 2003, the sales distribution was Travel 36%, Film/Music 21%, Books 19%, and Clothes 24%. In 2013, the proportions were Travel 29%, Film/Music 33%, Books 22%, and Clothes 16%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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These two pie charts give information about the shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. The shopping sectors are travel, film/music, books, and clothes.

In 2003, the travel sector took the biggest share in sales. It represented 36%. Clothes were the second largest sector and they made up 24% of total shopping sales. The sector of film/music was slightly lower than clothing sector. Film/music represented 21%. Books were the smallest shopping sector in 2003. They made up 19%.

In 2013, film/music experienced a noticeable growth and increased to 33%. Likewise, the sector of books increased to 22%. On the other hand, the sector of clothes and travel have experienced a noticeable decline. They accounted for 16% and 29% respectively.

Overall, it is noticeable that the sector of travel was very popular in 2003. Nevertheless, that situation changed and film/music became the dominant sector in 2013.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sector: 9

film/music: 5

shopping: 4

travel: 4

sales: 3

books: 3

noticeable: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report fully satisfies the requirements of the task. It provides a clear overview of the main trends, accurately compares the data between the two years, and organizes information logically. The progression from a detailed breakdown of 2003 to the changes observed in 2013, followed by a concise summary, makes for a very well-structured response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized into an introduction, two body paragraphs (one for each year), and an overview. The progression of ideas is clear. However, the cohesion could be improved by using more sophisticated linking devices. Some sentences feel a bit repetitive or 'choppy' (e.g., 'It represented 36%.', 'Film/music represented 21.'). Instead of using short, isolated sentences, try to combine information using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to create a smoother flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and accurate for the task (e.g., 'represented', 'accounted for', 'noticeable growth', 'dominant sector'). To reach a higher band, aim for more variety in how you describe proportions and changes. For instance, instead of repeating 'sector' frequently, you could use synonyms like 'category', 'segment', or 'industry'. Additionally, using more precise adjectives to describe the scale of change would enhance the lexical sophistication. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex structures, but there are inconsistencies in tense usage and article application. For example, when discussing 2013, you switched between the past tense ('increased') and the present perfect ('have experienced'). Since the data refers to a completed period in the past, the simple past should be used consistently. There are also minor issues with article usage (e.g., 'than clothing sector' should be 'than the clothing sector'). Increasing the range of complex sentence structures while maintaining accuracy will improve this score.

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Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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