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Band 6+: the pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activity

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The image features two pie graphs detailing children's activities by gender: the boys' graph includes Basketball at 26%, Soccer at 17%, Reading at 2%, Listening to Music at 10%, Skateboarding at 11%, and Computer Games at 34%; the girls' graph presents Gymnastics at 11%, Dancing at 27%, Reading at 21%, Listening to Music at 10%, Netball at 15%, and Computer Games at 16%.

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THE TWO PIE CHARTS ILLUSTRATE OUTCOME OF A SURVEY OF A CHILDREN’S CULTURAL AND LEISURE ACTIVITIES , WITH THE FIRST CHART SHOWING THE ACTIVITIES PREFERRED BY BOYS AND THE SECOND PRESENTING THOSE PARTICIPATED IN BY GIRLS .

OVERALL , BOYS AND GIRLS SHOWED DIFFERENT INTERESTS FOR CULTURAL AND LEISURE ACTIVITIES , WITH SOME ACTIVITIES BEING MORE POPULAR AMONG ONE GENDER THAN THE OTHER.

LOOKING FIRST AT THE MOST POPULAR ACTIVITIES , COMPUTER GAMES ACCOUNTED FOR THE LARGEST PROPORTION AMONG BOYS , AT 34% followed by basketball at 26%. By comparasion among girls, dancing was the most popular activity ,representing 27% while reading accounted for 21%.

However , there were also several differences in the remaining activities . Reading was considerably popular among girls than boys , at 21% and 2%, respectively.In contrast boys were more likely to play computer games , with the figures standing at 34% and 16%.Listening to music was the least popular activity among both groups standing at 10%

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

activities: 6

popular: 5

among: 5

girls: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by presenting an overview and key comparisons between boys' and girls' activities. It covers the main data points and highlights significant differences. However, there are a few omissions: it does not mention all activities (e.g., skateboarding, netball, gymnastics) and some minor inaccuracies in phrasing (e.g., 'considerably popular' should be 'considerably more popular'). The structure is clear, but the language could be more precise and varied. Overall, the response is well-organized and meets the task requirements with minor lapses.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and missing connectors. For example, the phrase 'By comparasion among girls' could be smoother, and the final sentence about listening to music could be better linked to the previous points. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that sentences within paragraphs are logically connected. Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly', 'whereas') to improve the flow.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary for describing data (e.g., 'accounted for', 'proportion', 'representing', 'figures standing at'). However, there are instances of repetition and less precise word choices. For example, 'considerably popular' should be 'considerably more popular', and 'least popular' is used but the data shows it is tied at 10% for both, so 'equally least popular' would be more accurate. To improve, use a wider range of synonyms and more precise language, such as 'comprised', 'constituted', 'was the most prevalent', etc. Also, avoid informal phrasing like 'look at' and ensure consistent use of formal register.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For instance, 'OUTCOME' should be 'THE OUTCOME', 'A CHILDREN'S' should be 'CHILDREN'S', and there are missing spaces after commas and periods. The phrase 'By comparasion' is misspelled (should be 'comparison'), and 'considerably popular' should be 'considerably more popular'. Additionally, the final sentence lacks a period. To improve, proofread carefully for spelling and punctuation, and use a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, to demonstrate grammatical range. Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles.

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Band 6+: the pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activity

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the pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children’s activity

the pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children’s activity

the pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children’s activity

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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