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Band 5+: The proportion of holiday markers using 4 different types of accommodation in 3 different years

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The image contains three pie charts for the years 1988, 1998, and 2008, showing percentages for four accommodation types. For 1988, the values are: Staying with family and friends 57%, Hotels 17%, Camping 18%, and Rented Apartments 8%. For 1998, the values are: Staying with family and friends 54%, Hotels 22%, Camping 13%, and Rented Apartments 11%. For 2008, the values are: Staying with family and friends 44%, Hotels 22%, Camping 12%, and Rented Apartments 22%.

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The pie charts compare data on the percentage of three varieties of places which people go in holidays over the years.

It is noticeable that proportion of people staying with family and friends had the largest part while other sections showed made up the smallest part during the years.

Moving into details ,due to people who spent less time with their families the percentage of staying with family and friends showed an average decrease from 57% in 1988 to 44% in 2008, before falling to 54% in 1998. Despite its lowest rate in the year 1988 the distribution of rented apartments experienced approximately a threefold rise to 22 % in 2008 from 8% in 1998, before seeing a slight increase to 11% in 1998.

As for percentage of hotels, it firstly witnessed a moderate growth over ten-year period from 1988 to 1998 at 17% and 22% respectively. Following years kept unchanged until 2008. Moreover, the rate of camping decreased a percentage of 6%. Firstly, It declined 18% in 1988 to 13% in 1998, then dropped gradually to 12% in 2008.

Word Count: 180

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 4

people: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overview of the main trends in accommodation preferences over the years. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported and the analysis could be more precise. To improve, ensure accurate data reporting and focus on making clear comparisons between the different accommodation types and years.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the flow of information is not always logical. The order in which the years are discussed is inconsistent, making it difficult to follow the trends. For instance, in the second paragraph, the report mentions 1988, then 2008, and then 1998, which disrupts the reader's understanding. Improve the logical sequencing of information by consistently presenting data chronologically or by grouping similar trends together. Also, use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas and sentences.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies in word choice ('varieties of places which people go in holidays'). There is an attempt to use more descriptive language ('moderate growth,' 'threefold rise'), but the execution is not always precise. To improve, expand your vocabulary related to describing trends and proportions. Focus on using synonyms and more specific terms to enhance the clarity and impact of your writing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include incorrect verb tenses ('showed made up'), awkward phrasing ('Moving into details ,due to people who spent less time with their families'), and errors in preposition use. Sentence structure is also somewhat simplistic, limiting the complexity of the ideas presented. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing more complex sentences and vary your sentence structure to enhance the sophistication of your writing.

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Band 5+: The proportion of holiday markers using 4 different types of accommodation in 3 different years

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The proportion of holiday markers using 4 different types of accommodation in 3 different years

The proportion of holiday markers using 4 different types of accommodation in 3 different years

The proportion of holiday markers using 4 different types of accommodation in 3 different years

The proportion of holiday markers using 4 different types of accommodation in 3 different years

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Part 1: The graph below shows the weekly working hours or men and women omen in in government institutions and private institutions.

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The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

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